


Stuck in Love

by buk19



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Artist Clarke, Clexa kids, Divorce, Drug Abuse, Emotional Infidelity, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love at First Sight, Recreational Drug Use, Regret, Second Chances, Smut, Soulmates, Underage Drinking, Writer Lexa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:00:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 23,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7760536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buk19/pseuds/buk19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Clarke were head over heels in love with two amazing children. They were happy..until they weren't. Now they're divorced and still stuck in love. Will they get there second chance?</p><p>OR</p><p>Loosely based on the movie 'Stuck in Love.' (You don't have to had watch the movie to understand the fic though so don't worry).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm actually very excited for this one !! Hopefully y'all enjoy it. Apologies for any mistakes.

“I remember that it hurt. Looking at her hurt.”

The sandy haired blonde boy timidly stares at the gorgeous platinum blonde fast asleep on her history textbook. Minutes passing by, teachers droning on, but none of that matters. In this everlasting stretch of 45 minutes while his teacher rambles incessantly on about the Cold War to students whose minds are elsewhere, the blonde blue eyed boy’s eyes so alike his mother’s remain glued on the celestial being beside him. With her skin pale like paper, her world is now tainted with the tiny droplets of blood dripping from her nose and onto the history cluttered textbook page written by academia whose names hold no glory or fame in recognition of their brilliance.

The girl, Elle, wakes up to the sight of the quiet English whiz and track star, Aden Woods, staring at her with his heart beating on his sleeve. Aden Woods is different. He’s open. His mind is unfazed by the trivialities of adolescence. His soul matured beyond his years. He is misunderstood in these halls, but Elle sees him. She sees him because he might perhaps be the only one who actually sees her as well.

Aden’s blue eyes shift from yearning to worry as quick as it takes for the first drop of blood to escape Elle’s nose. He wordlessly signals to her nose, hoping she gets the message and wipes away the crimson red liquid trickling down her philtrum to her upper lip. Elle tastes the familiar bitter flavor of metallic when she licks her lips. Blood. A nosebleed to be more specific. It’s not an unusual occurrence for someone like her. Oh who is someone like her you may ask? Well someone who snorts cocaine on the regular, of course. 

Elle is adamant to avoid the word ‘addict’ because she’s not one of those. She’s not an addict and she doesn’t have any problems that a quick fix can’t help her run from. The world doesn’t see her but when she looks into Aden Woods sweet innocent eyes, she thinks that maybe, just maybe she’s wrong. Maybe she was too quick to say the _whole_ world doesn’t see her because Aden Woods most certainly does.

The third period bell rings and the students flurry out of the room, their minds in a variety of places...the clouds...the gutter..so on so forth. However, Aden lags behind and shyly hands a tissue to Elle in the now empty classroom. 

“Thanks Aden.” Elle smiles sweetly at him and accepts the tissue. Aden grins in return but doesn't dare to speak. Well actually, he really can’t speak. At least not around Elle. No, around Elle, his normal functionality and motor skills are severely lacking. So Aden just smiles back at her. The silence isn’t awkward, if anything it is comforting. But it’s over much too soon when Elle apologetically says she has to get to her fourth period physics class. The 15 year old blonde boy nods in recognition and mumbles a hushed “Goodbye Elle” before the blonde beauty disappears from his eyesight. Nevertheless, Aden counts this interaction as a success in his book. 

The youngest Woods walks to his locker in a daze, ignoring the second warning bell. He needs to step up his game though and he knows it. Who can he go for advice though? Definitely not his best friends Jasper and Monty. They’re just as clueless on decoding fine specimens known as females. No, he needs to go to an expert on the subject. Someone who knows how to write out a good speech for him to say that’ll make Elle swoon. And that someone is his mother, Lexa Woods.

///

Lexa Woods swears she’s not some crazy stalker. Really she isn’t. But as of late, Lexa Woods has been in the habit of spying on her ex wife. Her ex wife who has just moved in with her new younger girlfriend and yoga instructor Niylah Murphy. And judging by what she can see from secretly peering through her ex’s double pane windows in her oh so spacious new living room, her and that namaste bitch are currently fighting. 

Ok so maybe in this particular moment, Lexa is a bit of a stalker. But she has a good reason. She still loves her wife... I mean _ex_ wife. Her and Clarke’s relationship is a long one filled with ups and downs and twists and turns...hell their relationship wasn’t just a rollercoaster ride, it was one of those upside down coasters that have way too much turbulence and stomach dropping pitfalls. But their love made it through..until Clarke served Lexa with divorce papers a year ago. Lexa isn’t giving up hope though. Lexa Woods is going to wait for the love of her life to come back into her waiting arms. So by that logic, it doesn’t hurt to check up every now and then on her still ever so gorgeous ex to see just how long Lexa has to way for this reunion.

A cheeseburger. That's what they're fighting about. Lexa chuckles because although her and Clarke have had some petty fights in the past, they certainly never fought about cheeseburgers. Niylah seems to be going on a rant about her new vegan status and how Clarke promised she would try it out in solidarity with her. Lexa shakes her head. Clarke could never be a vegan let alone even a vegetarian. Lexa remembers Clarke’s intense pregnancy cravings with Aden and Adria. They had cheeseburgers many nights a week. The brunette sadly smiles at the memory of her family at a happier time. A time when she didn’t have to gaze at her wife...uhm scratch that _ex_ wife through a looking glass with another woman. 

Lexa looks back up at Clarke and Niylah and finds that they are no longer fighting but instead fervently kissing. Clarke’s arms are wrapped around the yoga teacher as Niylah grabs her face to deepen the kiss. Lexa winces as if she’s in pain and is about to walk away (she’s not a glutton for punishment after all) when Niylah’s pesky little chihuahua starts barking up a storm, angling to bite her ankle.

“Shit go away you gremlin! Shoo shoo” Lexa ducks her head just in time for Clarke and Niylah’s curious eyes to miss her and shoos the dog away. The writer fastly tiptoes out of the garden and runs to her car in a quick getaway.

She really needs to find a better past time.

///

Adria collapses on the bed breathless. This isn’t the first time she’s slept with her best friend Lincoln. No, they’ve done this tango many _many_ times before. Adria has a strict rule. Love is weakness. No feelings, just sex. Lincoln readily agrees to be her friend with benefits but he wants more. He wants so much more. He wants her soft lips to only touch his. He wants her deep blue eyes to only look at him. He _wants_ all of her but only _has_ a part of her.

Once she catches her breath, the college student climbs over Lincoln and off the bed. She has a routine. Fuck and then get dressed. Plain, simple, crude, and oh so efficient to satiate her urges. It works for her. Love is messy. Her parents were head over heels in love and look what happened. They destroyed each other...well more like Clarke destroyed Lexa but that’s beside the point. While we’re on the topic though, Adria hasn’t talked to Clarke for over 6 months. She took Lexa’s side in the divorce and even though Lexa begs her to talk to her mother as well, she refuses. Adria knows it pains her artist mother but she doesn’t care. She sees the pain Lexa is in and she knows Clarke caused it. Clarke broke up the family. It’s not Adria’s job to try and hold the makeshift pieces of what once was one unit together.

“You know Adria, you could always stay. You don’t have to leave right after we finish every time.” Lincoln tries to sound casual in his suggestion. He doesn’t want to scare Adria away. The drummer knows Adria fears commitment. He doesn’t want to spook her but at the same time he wants more out of this.

“That’s sweet Linc, but you know my rules.” Adria smiles and bends down, pecking him on the lips. The 5’7’’ toned writer with brown curls and blue mesmerizing eyes checks herself in the mirror before leaving her best friend’s dorm room.

“I’ll see you at your gig tonight! She calls out before shutting the door to Lincoln’s and making her way to her floor for a quick shower in those disgusting communal bathrooms.

///

Aden comes home and takes his shoes off at the front door. Niylah has passive aggressively reminded him a variety of times to take his shoes off at the door so he doesn’t track dirt through the house. It’s not that the blonde boy hates Niylah, but he really doesn’t like her. And Aden usually likes everybody. It might have something to do with her being the reason his moms broke up but one could argue that they were broken long before that. No, what Aden really doesn’t like about Niylah is how sickly sweet she pretends to be. She acts like she’s the epitome of calm, but Aden thinks she’s one sour kale smoothie away from a breakdown. So he placates her for the sake of her sanity and his mother’s happiness.

“Hey Mom, I’m home!” Aden cheerily calls out as he makes his way to the kitchen to make himself a sandwhich.

“Hey sweetheart.” Clarke walks in wearing her messy paint smock with strides of green lazily tattering her skin. So mom’s painting again, that’s an improvement.

The blonde kisses her son on the forehead before ruffling his hair and sitting on the counter, biting into a crisp apple.

“Doesn’t Niylah hate when you sit on the counter?” Aden teasingly smirks. He knows his mom hates Niylah’s long list of pet peeves as well.

Clarke heartily laughs, a laugh he hasn’t heard since her and Lexa were still together. Aden smiles at his feat. “She’ll just have to deal with it” Clarke shrugs and looks over at Aden’s large sandwich curiously.

“Aren’t you eating dinner at Le-..at your mom’s tonight?” Clarke asks. Her son has a bigger appetite than her, and that’s saying something.

“Yep.” Aden answerings with a popping ‘p’ sound at the end before taking a large bite of his sandwich. “Doesn’t mean I can’t have a little snack.” The blonde boy mumbles with his mouth full.

Clarke makes a disgusted face and laughs. “Whatever you say kid. After you finishing eating, come get me from my studio and I’ll drive you to your mom’s.”

“You got it mom. Love you.” Aden calls out, still with food in his mouth.

“Love you more!” Clarke smiles and runs upstairs. She hesitates at the door of her studio. The blonde artist hasn’t been able to paint or sketch a single piece of artwork since her divorce with Lexa. She reasoned that perhaps Lexa was her muse and now that they were over, so was her art career. But then today, she suddenly felt her left twitching to paint. She ran up to the studio and let her heart pour into the canvas. Of course her heart decided to paint Lexa. Lexa, with her vibrant green eyes and pink plump lips. Her killer jawline and timid smile. Her tan unblemished supple skin and wild frenzied loose curls. She painted her lover, her everything, the rightful owner of her heart. Wait scratch that..she painted Lexa Woods. Her _ex_ lover, her _ex_ everything, the _ex_ rightful owner of her heart.

Clarke shakes her head and tries to drill into both her mind and heart that very fact. Lexa is no longer hers and she’s no longer Lexa’s. But god, that painting was stunning. It made her feel like how she used to feel when a younger, happier Lexa would look her way. Back when Lexa actually used to really look at her anyways. 

“Mom, I’m ready!” Her thoughts of Lexa Woods drown out when Clarke hears Aden’s faint callings from downstairs.

“I’m coming. Just one sec sweetie.” Clarke runs into her room and flings her messy smock off. She straightens out her clothes and takes one look in the mirror. She looks a wreck.

“Lexa always loved how I look on my lazy days anyways.” Clarke reassuringly mumbles to herself before grabbing her keys and running out the door with her teen son in tow.

///

Lexa is sitting on her front porch scribbling in her journal while waiting for Clarke to drop off Aden. The brunette waits all week for the moments when she can see Clarke (and not just through the blonde’s windows). The writer craves the blonde’s soft touch and raspy voice whispering in her ear yet again. She’ll wait for Clarke to come back. She has to.

A familiar revving of a truck engine roars on the beginning of Lexa’s rocky pebble pathway leading to her beachhouse. Lexa looks up and sees Clarke driving her signature busted up truck. Lexa smiles wide and her eyes beam with excitement. Clarke’s car screeches to a halt as it always does and both Clarke and Aden get out of the car. Clarke kisses Aden on the top the head and hugs him goodbye. 

“Hey you two.” Lexa calls out, closing her journal and walking over to meet them.

“Hey Lex..a” Clarke adds the ‘a’ at the end. Calling her ex ‘Lex’ just seems to intimate now. This whole being divorced thing seems to be a difficult process for both of them. After all, they were together since they were 19 years old.

“Hey mom.” Aden smiles and warmly hugs Lexa. Lexa smiles back and hugs him hello. 

“I’m going to go inside and have a snack. Love you mom. See you Monday!” Aden mumbles the first part, hoping Clarke doesn’t hear him but of course she does. She’s his mother, she hears everything he says.

Clarke giggles and Lexa swoons. Clarke’s childlike laugh is a sound she can never get used to; it’ll always cause the most pleasant of butterflies to assault her stomach.

“That boy is a food machine I swear.” Clarke remarks and Lexa laughs. Clarke swears it’s the most melodic of harmonies to ever grace her ears.

“Yeah he must get that from his mom.” Lexa teases and Clarke bites her lip, trying not to smile. The former couple stares into eachother’s eyes and the moment quickly shifts from light to heavy. Clarke shies away and averts her gaze to the rocks on the pathway.

“So I’ll pick him up for school around 7am on Monday. It was good to see you Lex..a” Clarke sadly smiles and gets back into her truck. Lexa can’t help but be disappointed but nevertheless nods.

“It was really really good to see you too Klark.” The brunette turns away and walks back into the house. If she looked back though, she would have seen the single tear that escaped her ex’s eye before the blonde inwardly cursed herself and wiped the salty water droplet away.

Yeah this divorce..it’s killing both of them.

///

Lexa hums to the beat of the radio as she chops the carrots and celery for Aden’s favorite pot roast dish. Aden is sitting at the kitchen table, huffing and puffing as he writes in his journal. Lexa glances over at him so often and can tell that her son is struggling with something. She throws the sloppily chopped veggies in the stew and moves to sit across from Aden while she lets the food simmer. 

“Trouble writing huh?” Lexa casually states more so as a statement rather than a question while she sips her hot tea.

“Yeah..” Aden defeatedly mumbles “I just..I don’t know what to write about. I haven’t experienced a lot in my life. I’m still so young.”

Lexa is a published author. Writing has been her passion since she learned to write. She published her first book when she was 20, a year after she met Clarke. Clarke inspired to be better and do better. The written word though, it courses in her veins just as it does in her kids. Adria is an English major at UCLA and Aden is in all advanced writing courses at his high school. Once Lexa realized her kids loved to write as well, she made a deal with them. No chores in the house and weekly allowances under the exception that they write a few pages a day. She checks their journal weekly to make sure they’re writing, but never reads what they say. She respects their privacy.

Lexa narrows her eyes, staring at her son for a minute as if she was analyzing him before she sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose.

“You know Flannery O’Conner once said that nothing needs to happen in a writer’s life after they’re 20. By then, they’ve experienced enough to last their creative lifetime.”

“Yeah but in case you forgot I’m not 20 yet mom.” Aden states in a matter of fact tone but Lexa can tell he’s teasing.

“I know that Aden Woods. In case you forgot something too, you are my son. I may or may not have been there when you were born.” Lexa smiles a tad and sips her tea. “Isn’t there anything crazy and without logic that you want to do during your high school years?”

“Well uh actually..there is this girl..” Aden mumbles.

Lexa’s eyes light up with surprise and intrigue. “Are you two dating?”

“No nothing like that. She’s just different. I find myself struggling to breathe and form coherent sentences around her. I’m not really sure what to do.” Aden embarrassingly groans as he tells his mom about his complete lack of skill when it comes to dating.

“Oh you’re in really deep kid. That feeling has only ever happened to me once.” Lexa gulps down her tea, soothing her dry throat.

“With mom?” Aden hesitantly asks.

“Yeah..” Lexa smiles, clearly thinking back on the past. “I was sitting on the beach..actually the very beach outside of this house. It’s the reason we bought this property; it’s where we first met. Anyways, I was in my own world, writing up a storm when a volleyball hits me smack in the face.” Lexa chuckles as she recalls when she gave over her heart and never asked for it back. “I was reasonably pissed and ready to curse out whoever just hit me in the head and interrupted my writing process when I looked up and saw the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. To this day, your mother is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

“Gosh mom, that’s really cheesy.” Aden interrupts.

“Hey it’s not cheesy if it’s true! But anyways, so she runs up to me and profusely apologizes. I just sit there dumbstruck and unmoving.” Lexa laughs. “I’m a goddamn writer and all the words in the English dictionary seemed to be elusive to me in that transcendent moment. Your mom even though she gave me a concussion because I was just staring up at her like an idiot.”

“So what did you do?”

“Hmm?” Lexa asks as she sips some more tea.

“I mean, what did you do to get over the butterflies in your stomach?”

“They never went away buddy. To this day, your mom still makes me heart beat faster. I don’t know how I lost sight of that for so long.” Lexa mumbles and shakes her head. She shouldn’t be talking about this with their son. Lexa clears her throat. “I can tell you this though. You're 15, not 40. As much as your old soul and well versed vocabulary might say otherwise, you _are_ young. Use that to your advantage. Talk to the girl, even if at first you're a bumbling idiot...talk to her. I know I sure was when I first talked to your mom. String a few sentences together and take it a step at a time. You have to put yourself out there kid. Do something crazy. You’re so soft spoken and careful and that’s a wonderful thing but try being wild for a change. Go out and live like Adria does.”

Aden laughs. “So basically you’re saying I should go sleep with a bunch of people?”

Lexa spits up her tea and starts coughing. “I - I definitely did _not_ say that!”

Aden puts his hands up in mock surrender. “Hey hey you did just say I should go out and live like Adria.”

“Adria doesn’t sleep around!..wait does she?” Lexa questions her son as her eyes bulge out of her head at the knowledge. Adria is 19 years old. Obviously she’s probably done things. Things Lexa never wants to think about but Adria never talked to her about boys and all of that. Lexa was always the over protective mom when it came to Adria dating. Before Clarke and Lexa divorced, Adria would go to Clarke for advice and Aden would go to Lexa. Now though, Adria doesn’t really go to anyone she assumes.

Aden nods. “Yeah I mean it’s not anything new. She’s been on the pill since her junior year of high school when she was dating that senior guy Atom.”

“What?! Wait how did your mother and I not know this?”

“Uh..maybe I should stop talking.” Aden nervously laughs and rubs the back of his neck.

“No Aden it’s okay. Adria isn’t in trouble. She’s an adult and she can do as she pleases.”

“Okay well in that case, mom knew about the pill. Adria went to her and asked to go on it after her junior prom.” Aden casually states and starts sniffing. Her head perks up. “Oo I think the pot roast is ready!” Aden excitedly stands up and goes to check on the food.

Lexa sits in her chair dumbstruck. Did Clarke really not tell her about Adria going on the pill? I mean it’s not the end of the world but it’s certainly something she should have been filled in on. But maybe Clarke did tell her, maybe she wasn’t paying attention. The last few years of their marriage, their communication was severely lacking and it was mostly Lexa’s fault. Even when she was around, she wasn’t really there. She was a phantom in her own home. She was present with the kids so they didn’t notice anything was wrong. But for some unexplainable reason, her and Clarke’s relationship started to deteriorate. Lexa was always writing and Clarke was always painting. Their creative minds were high in the sky and Lexa was great at avoidance. Once they started fighting, Lexa just pulled away completely and she didn’t come back to Earth until it was too late. Her Clarke was gone.

“Is your sister coming for dinner tonight?” Lexa asks as she starts setting the table. Aden, who's already stuffing his face with bread as she fills the bread basket, thinks for a minute before answering.

“No. I think she’s going to Lincoln’s band night at Cruiser Hall on the boulevard.”

“Cruiser Hall? Wow that’s great! Good for Lincoln. He’s always been very talented. I’ll have to congratulate him next time Adria brings him over for dinner.” Lexa exclaims as she puts out three plates. 

Lincoln has been Adria’s best friend since childhood. Lexa and Clarke always had a running bet wondering when they would finally get together. Clarke always said it would take Adria longer to realize what she had in front of her own eyes. Clarke always called Lincoln a “big ol fluffy teddy bear” even though his brute exterior suggested otherwise. They are even good friends with his parents Indra and Gustus. Now that Lexa thinks about it, Lincoln just might be the only guy Lexa actually approves of to date her daughter. She wonders briefly if Clarke still will hold her to their bet once their daughter and Lincoln finally do get together.

“Mooooom. Hello, anyone in there?” Aden waves his hand in the air, trying to get Lexa’s attention. Sometimes his mom does that. Spaces out as if she's replaying a happier time. Actually, both of his moms do that now that he thinks about it.

“Oh sorry champ. I zoned out for a second there.” Lexa mumbles and continues to put the cutlery out. “What were you saying?”

“I was saying that it’s only gonna be me and you tonight so there’s no need to set a place for Adria.”

“Oh uh..” Lexa bites her lip and looks up at Aden knowingly.

“Oh right I forgot you still do that..” Aden mumbles and sits down, ready to eat. His mom still sets up a plate for Clarke every night at dinner, waiting for her to come home to her. It’s really sad and it breaks his heart. Unlike Adria, he doesn’t hate his other mom. He still lives with Clarke so he knows firsthand how the divorce has affected her too. She might be living with Niylah but she’s broken too. Sometimes when Aden comes home, she hears his mom crying and sniffling in the living room. Not trying to embarrass his mother, he tiptoes and backtracks his steps until he’s outside of the house and loudly reenters to make his mother aware of his presence. So he knows both of his parents are hurting. Their marriage just wasn’t working anymore..even Adria knows that. So why is she so angry at Clarke? Aden won’t pretend to know the answer to that one.

“She’ll come back one day.” Lexa takes a deep breath. “She will..and until then, I’ll wait for her.” Aden sadly smiles at his mom, hoping for both his mom's sakes that she’s right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be more clexa interactions to come and all will be explained. 
> 
> The reasons behind the divorce will be explained in greater detail as the story progresses. Clarke's side of the divorce will eventually be explained as well.
> 
> And poor Lexa ;( She's so sad and patiently waiting for her Clarkey to come back. Clarke seems like a bit of a bitch right now I know I know, but her side will be revealed soon too. 
> 
> Also, when I imagine Adria, I think of Alexandra Daddario.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated. I'd love to hear what you think so far.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aden takes Lexa's advice a tad too far. Clarke and Lexa have a little moment.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Drug use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes. Enjoy!

“All I’m saying is that if they don’t know how to pronounce quinoa, they shouldn’t be ordering it.” Niylah continues on her rant and Clarke nods along, peeking her tongue out of her mouth to taste her famous marinara sauce she’s got brewing.

“Ny, can we talk about something else other than superfoods and yoga for once?” Clarke pleads. The blonde likes Niylah. She’s assertive and determined. She is always encouraging Clarke to be better and do better. And her body is amazing...at least all that yoga pays off for something. But deep down in her core, Clarke knows that this is a little something called complacency. She’s already had that burning undying love. She’ll never get another Lexa.

“Sure thing honey. I saw that you finally started painting again.” Niylah wraps her arms around Clarke’s waist from behind and rests her chin on Clarke’s shoulder. 

Clarke clears her throat and quietly mumbles. “Yeah I felt inspired. I don’t know what hit me.”

“I know what inspired you Clarke.” Niylah says bluntly and monotonly. Clarke believes her too. Shit. She knows that her ex wife has inspired her, has yet again lit her artistic flame. 

“You do?” Clarke quietly says as her eyes widen, awaiting Niylah’s anger. But no anger ever comes.

“Yes. You were inspired by this move. The zen of the new house must have aligned your life and brought some much needed calmness and serenity. I knew that meditation and breathing techniques we started doing before bed are helping you. You look years lighter and the bags under your eyes are almost completely gone.”

“I don’t know if that’s it Ny...wait I have bags under my eyes?!”

Niylah is about to respond when they hear the door shut loudly and the heavy thunk of feet. It’s Monday night around 7 p.m. Aden texted Clarke before and told her that he was going out with Monty and Jasper and would be home for dinner. 

“Aden is wearing his boots in the house again Clarke.” Niylah disapprovingly says as she removes her body from behind Clarke’s.

“Niylah..” Clarke says in a warning tone. Clarke will compromise on many things with Niylah. Hell, she even gave being a vegan a try. But she won’t compromise on her kids. Not by any means. If Niylah doesn’t get along with her kids or if they (well only Aden..since Adria isn’t talking to her) tells her that they don’t like Niylah, she will end things. Her kids come first and they always will.

“I’m sorry honey. You know how I feel about dirt though. Maybe remind him to leave his shoes at the door? Aden’s a good kid, you know I love him. I just would appreciate if he left his shoes at the door..that’s all.” Niylah sweetly says before running off the wine cellar in the basement to get some wine for dinner.

Clarke rolls her eyes and she stirs the pot. Niylah makes her feel young. She makes her feel wanted. She’s attentive and sweet and energized. There’s a spark in her eyes for her passion for yoga that reminds her of a similar enthusiasm that was once housed in the eyes of her former green eyed love.

“Aden sweetie! Dinner’s almost ready. Can you please come set the table?” Clarke calls out. 

Aden comes stumbling in a moment later, his hoodie covering his face. The aroma of the room quickly shifts from the sweet and spicy smells of Clarke’s pasta dish to skunk. Skunk, that’s an odd smell. Then it dawns on Clarke. Aden doesn’t smell like skunk, he smells like weed. Her sweet innocent fresh faced Aden was smoking.

“Aden Woods..turn and look at me right now.” Clarke sternly says and she approaches him with the sauce spoon still in her hand.

Aden’s eyes widen and he knows he should be scared of getting in trouble. He knows that this isn’t a good situation and yet he can’t find it in the life of him to stop smiling. Aden reluctantly turns to his mom and takes off his hoodie, a lazy shit eating grin painted across his face.

Clarke huffs and shakes her head. She’s not an idiot. She very well knows that kids Aden’s age smoke and drink and have sex. She remembers when Adria was Aden’s age, which might not have seemed like long ago but it was basically a different generation for this family. Back then, Adria trusted Clarke. The blue eyed daughter talked to Clarke about everything and anything. Clarke even picked Adria up after she ate a much too potent pot brownie. So yeah she knows about all this high school jazz. She has gone through this shitshow called parenting a teenager once before and made it out alive. Clarke just assumed (she now supposes it was stupid to assume such a thing) that Aden would be the easy one. No drugs. No drinking. No sneaking out to see a girl or sneaking in one. 

“You’re high.” Clarke states in the matter of fact tone that she unintentionally adopted from Lexa’s mannerisms over the years. After spending most of your life with another person, you’re bound to pick up a habit from them here or there.

“I’m high.” Aden saws in a tone laced with awe as if he’s just discovering this very fact right now. Aden starts hysterically laughing and I mean blowout full on laughing fit. A laughing fit so hard that Niylah curiously peaks out from the wine cellar before she’s picked the perfect wine.

“Is everything okay up there?” Niylah calls out.

Clarke sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose, another habit she picked up from Lexa.

“Yeah we’re okay.” Clarke sits Aden down and cups his face so she can get a closer look at his eyes. Aden physically can’t stop laughing and it’s actually scaring him a bit. Clarke recognizes that look of fear in his eyes and decides that right now isn’t the time to scold him or interrogate him.

“I’m assuming this was your first timing smoking.” Clarke mumbles as she gets up to grab him some water to quench his cotton mouth.

“Y-yeah.” Laughing. “Mom,” A laugh. “can you please” Some more laughing. “get me to stop laughing?”

“Oh sweetie, you’re not having a fun high right now are you?” Clarke pulls Aden in for a hug and strokes his hair as his laughter subsides. Aden closes his eyes and burrows deeper in his mom’s embrace. If he wasn’t so thirsty and hungry, he could fall asleep right now.

As if she read his mind, Clarke gets up and prepares him a plate of food. She sets the plate down in front of him and picks up his now empty glass of water and refills it.

Niylah finally emerges from the basement with some fancy bottle of wine that her senator father sent over as a ‘congratulations on the new house’ gift. Niylah’s nose scrunches up at the smell and looks over at Aden who is mindlessly shoving his face with pasta.

Niylah looks over at Clarke who's preparing a plate for her and herself. Clarke just shrugs.

“Is he..?” Niylah tapers off, assuming Clarke will get what she’s saying.

“Yes and he was freaking out a minute ago so let’s just ignore it for now okay?” Clarke whispers in her ear. Niylah nods and sits across from Aden.

Aden looks up from his food about 10 minutes later and realizes that Niylah and Clarke are now sitting at the table eating too. He flinches when he notices them and then starts laughing. He never realized how funny Niylah looks when she’s confused or angry or anything really. 

“I’m sorry guys I didn’t realize that-” Aden pauses and stares off at the clock on the wall, intently watching the little hands slowly progressing alongside Father Time. 

“You didn’t realize what?” Niylah asks.

“What?”

“You just stopped mid sentence. You were going to tell us about something you didn’t realize.”  
“I said that?”

“Yes.”

“What was I going to say?” Aden questions himself aloud as he tries to concentrate hard to remember but everything around him is so interesting.

“Oh right! Yeah I was just saying that I didn’t realize that you guys sat down at the table.”

Clarke and Niylah looks at each other and try not to laugh. Aden goes back to eating his food without much thought elsewhere, exploring the deep thoughts rattling his mind.

Clarke knows that she’ll have to punish Aden but she’s glad the boy is experimenting a little. Given, she wishes it wasn’t drugs but he’s doing something for himself and nobody else. She feels bad because she knows Aden thinks he has to take care of everyone but that’s not his job. Her and Lexa are the parents not him. He doesn’t need to bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, even if he thinks he has to.

Once Aden finishes his food, Clarke tells him to go upstairs and change. She comes up 20 minutes later after she cleans up the plates and wraps up the leftovers. Niylah is in the shower and both Aden and Clarke are already in their pjs. 

“Hey buddy. Can I come in?” Clarke knocks lightly on the door when Aden calls out a prolonged “yeeeesssss you may come innnnnn.”

Clarke sits at the edge of his bed as Aden lays his head on his pillow, looking up and over at his mother. Man, Aden’s eyes are beet red. Whatever he smoked was certainly strong.

“You must have smoked some crazy weed Aden. You’re really high.” Clarke lightly laughs when Aden responds with a flat out ‘yeeeeaaaah.’

“So you do realize that I have to ground you kid.”

“Yeah I know. For how long?”

“I’m feeling generous and since you never do this kind of stuff. One week.”

“One week?! Wow you are going soft. When you caught Adria with that weed brownie, she was grounded for two.”

“Yeah well that wasn’t the first time Adria was caught doing something like that. So if I catch you again, it’ll be way more. Listen Aden, you’re experimenting and that’s what kids do at your age. But no other drug, do you hear me? Seriously Aden, you and Adria are me and your mother’s lives. Don’t do anything stupid, you hear me?”

“I always hear you mom.” Aden softly mumbles, her eyes fluttering shut. They sit in silence for a bit before Clarke can tell Aden in dozing off.

“One more question buddy, how did you get the weed? It’s dangerous if you and your buddies went on a street corner or something. You could get in a lot of trouble.”

“Don’t worry mom, I didn’t get it from a street corner or anything like that. I got it from Mom.” Aden sleepily mumbles.

“You what?!” Clarke loudly whispers.

“M-o-m. She had some in a drawer at her house, so I just took it. Besides, she’s the one who told me to be wild for a change.” Aden mumbles almost incoherently by the end, successfully drifting off into a deep slumber that will leave him both groggy and well rested at the same time.

Clarke gently covers him with his blanket and kisses his forehead, whispering ‘goodnights’ and ‘I love yous’ to her son before she ducks out of his bedroom. Clarke slides down the wall, her eyes shut as she lays her head against the hallway. She’ll have to go talk to Lexa tomorrow during the day about this.

///

Lexa is sitting in a beach chair, enjoying the nice afternoon breeze with her eyes shut. She loves the the sound of the ocean crashing around her. It calms her. Just as Lexa is starting to fall asleep she hears a familiar jogging approaching her and she knows exactly who it is.

“Taking a little nap? Don’t tell me you’re getting old on me Woods.”

“Not everyone can be 30 and in the fittest shape of their lives Costia.”

Lexa opens her eyes and sees a smirking black haired beauty standing before her. Costia Fox. Costia Fox lives a few houses down with her husband and three kids. Yeah you heard right. Lexa is sleeping with a married woman. She would feel bad about it but Costia has an open relationship with her husband. They both sleep around and neither minds as long as they’re emotionally faithful to each other. 

“Come on I only have an hour before I have to pick up the kids.” Costia smirks and jogs towards her house. Lexa rolls her eyes and gets up, walking at a leisurely pace behind her. Her and Costia have had this little arrangement for about three months. It’s simple and to the point and there are absolutely zero feelings involved on either side. 

Lexa and Costia use each other for release and that’s it. But Lexa never invites Costia to her home. That’s her and Clarke’s home. It’s where they brought home baby Adria and Aden when each were born. It’s where their kids took their first steps. It’s where her and Clarke cultivated a life and family together. She just can’t fathom the idea of bringing home another woman there. Not yet and maybe not ever.

Lexa and Costia get right to it once they reach the younger soccer mom’s bedroom. It’s a short and simple affair but it gets the job done. Once they get dressed, Lexa shoves her hand in her pocket and slips her wedding ring back on when Costia speaks up peeking her head from the bathroom.

“I see you still wear your wedding ring.”

“Yeah. I do.” Lexa says as she buttons up the rest of her shirt.

“You know you really should move on. I saw that yoga teacher out ring shopping the other day.” Costia casually says as she throws her hair up in a bun in the mirror. Lexa twists her neck in the direction faster than lighting.

“What?” Lexa weakly asks, afraid of further clarification.

“Yeah I was buying Andrew a watch for our fifth anniversary when she walked in. She asked the jeweler if she could see their selection of engagement rings.”

Lexa feels her heart caving in on her chest. She might have to wait a little longer for Clarke to come back to her than she expected.

Costia turns around and throws Lexa a sympathetic look.

“Look I’m not saying this to hurt you. You just need to move on. I’ll even help you create one of those dating profiles. Oh yes! That’ll be so much fun.” Costia excitedly claps her hands.

“I’ve already told you Cos, I’m not ready for that.” Lexa firmly says and Costia huffs.

“Well fine. But one of these days you’re going to let me dress you up and get your fine ass on one of those dating sites. All the women you could want will be at your feet.”

“I don’t want a million woman at my feet. I only want her.” Lexa mumbles as she stares at her wedding ring, the ring that symbolizes her promise to love Clarke in this life and through the next.

Costia shakes her head. “Well then fight for her Lexa. Don’t just spy in her window. Make a move before she’s wearing a ring just like that again..” Costia points to Lexa’s wedding band “Only this time she won’t be promising to spend her life with you, it’ll be someone else.”

///

Lexa walks home and sees her favorite beaten up ol truck in the driveway. Clarke is here. Why is she here? Is she telling Lexa about her engagement in person? Has she finally come back home? Are the kids okay? Lexa’s minds are running through a million possibilities when she starts speed walking to the front porch where Clarke is sitting with her eyes closed. The brunette quickly scans her left hand and sees it is still bare, no new ring. Lexa sighs out in relief and smiles down at the love of her life sleeping so soundly. Lexa almost doesn’t want to disturb her she looks so peaceful, so at ease. In this moment, she can pretend that they’re still together and Lexa has just found Clarke napping on the porch enjoying the view like old times. God, the nostalgia is hitting her at full force.

“Clarke?” Lexa finally croaks out, unable to cope with the fact that her life with Clarke at this beach house is no longer a reality but not a ghost of her past and a fantasy of the future.

Clarke murmers incoherently and shifts a little on the comfortable cushioned porch swing. Lexa smiles at how adorable Clarke is. The blonde’s eyebrows are all scrunched up as she slowly wakes up from her light nap. Lexa kneels beside the swing and gently pushes aside the few stray blonde hairs in Clarke’s face. 

“Clarke wake up.” Lexa softly says as she lightly shakes the blonde’s shoulder. Clarke’s eyes flutter open and immediately lock her gaze. Their faces are so close, Lexa just has to lean in and she would be done for. But she won’t. She won’t and that’s real tragedy of it all.

“Lex?” Clarke sleepily mumbles as she yawns and stretches her arms. Lexa’s heart beats fast when she hears the old nickname slip from a half asleep Clarke. The blonde’s cheeks heat up in embarrassment once she realizes she fell asleep on her ex’s porch swing. God Lexa must assume she’s some sort of stalker.

“Sorry I uh must have fallen asleep.” Clarke quietly says as she scans Lexa’s face which is still oh so close to hers.

“It’s okay.” Lexa says simply and she means it. “I really don’t mind.” Neither moves in closer or further and for a stretch of time they just are. They just sit there and drink each other in. Clarke refuses to glance and Lexa’s lips and Lexa forces her eyes to remain rooted on every portion of her love’s face _except_ her lips. Clarke finally clears her throat after what feels like hours but really was only about a minute.

“So uh you must be wondering why I’m here.” Clarke nervously smiles and sits up, breaking the hypnotic trance of the moment.

“A little.” Lexa smiles and gets up to sit across from her.

Clarke nods and starts ruffling through her purse, pulling out a bag of weed and placing it on the outdoor coffee table. Lexa looks at her with that adorable confused look she rarely wears but dons only when she has no clue what is going on (which is an unusual occurrence).

“Aden stole this from you. I figured you’d want it back.” Clarke says in her ‘this means business’ tone.

“Aden? Why would Aden steal my pot?” Lexa thinks out loud, still considerably confused. She knows she told Aden to go out and live but she thought he would start light, like asking that Elle girl out.

“Well you see Lexa, now I’m not sure if you know this, but there’s this new thing where people smoke weed.”

Lexa rolls her eyes at Clarke’s obvious playful sarcasm.

“I’m well aware Clarke. And if I remember correctly, you are too.” Lexa teases and Clarke huffs out in annoyance and bites her lip to avoid smiling. 

“Lex..a, this is serious. You told Aden to go out and be ‘wild’ and he comes home stoned from _your_ weed. Which by the way, why do you even have that?”

“Okay well first of all, I did tell Aden to live a little more and be wild. I told him to take more risks and not always play it safe. The kid tries to fix everyone’s problems and never leaves space for himself to just be a kid. I know you agree with me about that too. And then he asked me for some girl advice so I just assumed him taking a risk would be talking to a pretty girl, not smoking! And as for the weed, we confiscated that from Adria a few years ago remember? I guess I just threw it in a drawer and forgot about it.”

Clarke stares at Lexa for a minute and then starts laughing.

“I’m sorry Lex..a. I assumed the worst. I just was so shocked that Aden smoked. He never seemed like the type.”

“No it’s okay. But hey weed isn’t the end of the world right?.” Lexa jokes. 

“I guess you’re right. I did ground him though and I suggest you do so as well.” Clarke lightly says and Lexa nods in agreement. A tidal way of heavy silence washes between them again.

“So um do you wanna come in?” Lexa nervously blurts out. “For a cup of coffee or something?”

“Oh I don’t know if that’s a good idea…” Clarke pauses and closes her eyes. “You know what, yeah..I can stay for a little while. Just one cup.”

Lexa smiles and tries to mask her excitement. Her and Clarke haven’t been alone like this since early on after the divorce when they were discussing custody. The writer puts on a pot of coffee and then sits down at the table across from Clarke.

“So how are you?” Clarke asks.

“Me? I’m good.” Lexa nods. There isn’t much to say because she’s not good. That was an outright lie. She misses Clarke like she misses air. She barely can write. Everything she once cherished so dear is falling from her grasp and for the life of her, she can’t understand how to get it all back.

Clarke looks at her unsurely but nevertheless nods. “How’s your writing?”

“Really good. It’s going good.”

“Liar.” Clarke says just as Lexa thinks she’s fooling Clarke into believe her little white lies.

“What? No Clarke, I’m good.”

“You know you have a tell, right?” Clarke calmly states.

“No I don’t.” Lexa laughs and shakes her head.

“Oh you absolutely do! I figured it out on our six month anniversary. You said you remembered but I knew you forgot. It was funny to watch you sweat though.” Clarke laughs at the memory.

“You knew?” Lexa asks in surprise.

“Oh yeah. You were freaking out, hiding out in the bathroom of my apartment, trying to call every restaurant in L.A. for a late dinner reservation. It’s cute when you get all flustered.”

Lexa’s eyes widen and Clarke’s cheeks showcase a pink tint once she realizes what she’s said.

“Uh anyways, you’re tell is that you bite your lip.”

“Huh?” Lexa is still in a daze that Clarke just called her cute.

“You bite your lip right before you’re about to lie.” Clarke signals to her own lips as an example and Lexa can’t help but stare at her ex’s enthralling lips.

“Lexa?”

“Hmm?”

“The coffee’s ready.” Clarke points at the coffee pot and now it’s Lexa’s turn to be embarrassed. She was totally just gawking at Clarke’s perfect lips and Clarke noticed.

“Oh right uh yeah. Two coffees coming up.” 

Lexa places them on the table and Clarke greedily starts drinking it. Lexa raises her eyebrow and smiles.

“Tired?”

“Exhausted.” Clarke moans at the first taste of Lexa’s coffee. “You always made the best coffee.”

“Late night?” Lexa says and immediately hates herself for the double meaning behind the words. And even if Clarke did have a late night with Niylah, she doesn’t want to know about it.

“Yeah..” Clarke says and Lexa feels another piece of her heart shred away. “I was painting actually.” Lexa perks up at that.

“That’s great Clarke! Indra mentioned that you haven’t given her any new paintings for the gallery in a while.”

“Checking up on me there?” Clarke teases but also is desperate to know the answer.

“Yes. I have to make sure my girl is okay.” Lexa insecurely says avoiding Clarke’s eyes, fearful of the rejection she might find lying in her cerulean pools. If Lexa looked though, all she would find is surprise and affection and most importantly love.

“Lexa..” Clarke sadly says and Lexa knows she’s stepped over a line.

“I know.” Lexa sadly says and the silence surrounding them begins to suffocate the former pair.

“You still wear your wedding ring.” Clarke bravely says. It’s a subject she has always wanted to bring up to Lexa but is too afraid.

“Yes.” Lexa looks at the table while she responds, again afraid of what the truth behind Clarke’s eyes might hold.

“Why?” Clake quietly asks.

Lexa looks up with watery eyes and finally looks into Clarke’s eyes.

“You know why.”

“Lexa I..” Whatever Clarke is about to say is cut off by the front door slamming open.

“Hey Mom! I came by for a bit.” Adria calls out and Clarke immediately stiffens and her eyes change from the regretful former expression to unadulterated anxiety. Lexa bravely reaches out and touches Clarke’s hand to soothe her, but it only further agitates the blonde. Was she really going to just say that to Lexa? No. She can’t do that. She’s the one who divorced the brunette. It wasn’t working out. She will always love Lexa but love isn’t enough sometimes. It wasn’t enough for them and it’s not fair of her to give the writer hope for something that’ll never come.

Adria casually strides into the kitchen and abruptly stops in her place when she sees Clarke. What the fuck is she doing here and why is Lexa’s hand on top of hers? No this isn’t right. Clarke is the one that ruined everything. Clarke is the one who broke her mother and the rest of the family. She can’t just strut in here and give her mom false hope like this.

“Hi Adria.” Clarke nervously says and breathes in deep.

“What are you doing here?” Adria calmly but sharply interrogates her mother.

“I uh..we were just talking about Aden and catching up. I would really love to talk to you sweetie. I miss you so much and-”

“No.” Adria grits her teeth and waves her mother off.

“Adria, listen to your mother.” Lexa sternly says. 

“Don’t defend her Mom. She broke us! She broke you! And now she’s moved in with some new woman? Get out.” Adria spats out.

“Adria! Do not talk to your mother like that.” Lexa raises her voice but Clarke cuts her off.

“It’s okay. I really should get going anyways.” Clarke holds in her tears and abruptly stands up, gathering her things. Lexa feels helpless in that moment, like any progress they may have made is slipping away.

“Thanks for the coffee.” Clarke sadly smiles and looks over to Adria.

“I know you hate me right now. And you’re right, I did break up this family. You can hate me for the rest of your life if you really want to. Just..” Clarke pauses and shuts her eyes, willing the tears away. “Just know that I love you. And that will never change no matter what you say or do. I’ll be here for you Adria, even though you don’t want me because that’s...that is what mothers do for their children. My love for you in unconditional. I may have failed you once but I’m still here. And I’ll wait my whole life for your forgiveness if I have to.” Clarke hesitantly approaches a stiff Adria and shakily kisses her cheek before walking away and out the door. Adria stands there frozen, face scrunched up and tears almost falling.

Lexa deeply exhales and hurries to catch Adria in an embrace once she hears the door click.

“Mom, you’re suffocating me.” Adria hoarsely says. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Lexa knows the girl needs to act as if she’s not weak and for some reason, Adria thinks showing emotions are weak. Adria wipes away the few stray tears and shakes her head.

Lexa lets go of her a few seconds later and sits back down.

“You are hurting your mother, you do realize that right?” Lexa softly says as Adria sits down across from her, the chair still warm from when Clarke sat there just a few minutes ago.

“Yeah well she’s hurting you.”

“Adria, stop blaming the divorce on your mother.” Lexa sighs and sips her coffee. They’ve had this conversation many times before and it always goes in helpless circles.

“It is her fault. You didn’t want a divorce. You’re still pining after her! And she’s shacked up with some bimbo. You deserve better than her.”

“Nobody is better than your mother, not for me. And as far as the divorce goes, it was both of our faults. We both got lost. It’s just taking your mother longer to figure that out.” Lexa wisely says, her words transcribed with the utmost confidence.

“You always say that. How can you be so sure she’s coming back?”

“I’ll tell you someday.”

“You always say that too.” Adria mumbles.

“Yeah well I’m older and wiser. Some things you’ll just have to trust me on.”

Adria wants to trust her mother’s word on this, she really does. But the younger brunette doesn’t think she can. Not on this. I guess time will have to tell what’ll happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody in this fic is perfect. It's important to remember that. I'm following the characterization of the characters in the movie for the most part as well. Lexa is very softhearted and compassionate. She loves with her all. Trust the fic. I know some commenters had some worries and all I can say is that I'm not going to make Lexa into some cheater or a horrible wife just as I'm not going to make Clarke into some bad wife either. Sometimes people in love lose their way. This fic is about them finding their way back.
> 
> Also, in this fic, I imagined Costia as Megan Fox but feel free to picture her as whoever you'd like.
> 
> Again, thank you so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate all your comments and can't wait to hear more :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aden and Adria's lives are more affected by their parents' divorce then they realize.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes. Enjoy!

Aden walks through the door and treks halfway to the kitchen when he realizes he still has his shoes on. _Shit_. He’s already grounded, might as well avoid pissing off mom’s girlfriend. The blonde boy takes his shoes off and leaves them at the door before going to the kitchen and making a snack. He munches on his big bowl of chocolate ice cream with whip cream and strawberries as he walks upstairs to find his mom. The house is unusually quiet. He’s home kind of late too since he had track practice. Nobody seems to be home but then he hears music coming from the attic. Aden smiles. Clarke is painting again.

The look alike boy version of his blonde mother tiptoes upstairs to get a peek at his mom’s artwork. He quietly gasps at what he sees though. Clarke is sitting on a stool facing away from him, painting a large canvas. The canvas is completely and one hundred percent Lexa. The brunette is sitting on the beach, writing away in a journal. This Lexa looks younger, perhaps 19 or 20. And that’s when it hits Aden; Clarke is painting the first time she met Lexa. He can hear his mother sniffling away tears as she wipes away her face. The 15 year old suddenly feels as if he’s intruding on a very personal moment and mutely rushes downstairs to his room to do his homework. 

The boy feels sad for both of his mothers. Somewhere along the road, they lost their way to each other. But that doesn’t stop the love they once shared and still feel. It’s rough on both of them but contrary to Lexa’s firm beliefs, he never thought that a romantic reunion between the pair was a feasibility. Now though, after seeing the emotion and passion in his mom’s painting, he thinks there just might be an oh so slight possibility. There might be some hope for his moms. Aden smiles at the small seed of hope blooming in his chest for a once again united family unit. Maybe someday, maybe someday.

///

Adria leaves her mother’s house, frustrated at another pointless conversation. She hates seeing Lexa in pain and she knows Clarke is the cause of it. She doesn’t understand for the life of her, why Lexa refuses to move on. This isn’t easy on the eldest Woods child either. No, she just internalizes everything and ignores her feelings until they explode out of her. And that’s what she’ll continue to do under the emotional dam within her breaks. Adria shakes her head from her thoughts and decides she needs a drink and a good lay to distract her thoughts. She dials her best friend Mel and asks what’s on the radar tonight. 

“Hey Mel, what parties are on the radar for tonight?”

“Hey Dria! Well I’m sure you already know but there’s that party at Lincoln’s frat. Want to go?”

Adria furrows her brows. If there was a party at Lincoln’s frat surely he would have invited her. I mean, admittedly at the last party she _did_ get a little wild and she _did_ see Lincoln throw her disapproving looks as she lightly flirted with that football jock Cameron. Why didn’t Lincoln invite her? Lincoln always invites her. They’re best friends.

“Oh yeah right I forgot. Sure let’s go there.” 

Maybe he just forgot. But either way, Adria is going out and she’s going to have some fun and much needed distraction.

///

Aden is fast asleep in his bed when his phone starts beeping incessantly. Who’s calling him a 1 a.m?! His blue eyes flutter open to see three new messages from Elle. Elle!! His eyes widen and he sits upright so fast, he gets a little dizzy.

 **From Elle -** Hey Aden! I was wondering if you wanted to hangout at this party tonight. I can come pick you up. I have my mom’s car. 

Adren grins like a fool and does a fist pump in the air. Elle wants to hangout! The blonde girl hasn’t texted him since they were lab partners freshman year. Not that Aden is complaining but he wonders briefly why now?

_Alright just sound cool and you’re golden. Be cool Aden._

**To Elle -** Hey Elle. Sure, that sounds awesome. I live at 36 Roosevelt Way.

_Nailed it!_

**From Elle -** Okay be there soon! :)

Aden gets up to quickly change and throws on his favorite shirt and some of the expensive cologne Adria got him for Christmas. The blonde boy looks in the mirror and sees that he has bedhead. He quickly brushes his hair and tiptoes to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

The door to his mom and Niylah’s room is half open and he can hear the TV playing. _Shit._ It’s just crossed the naive boy that he’ll have to sneak out. He’s grounded and it’s 1 a.m. on a Monday night. No way his mom will let him go to a party. Aden usually doesn’t like to step foot in his mother’s bedroom because it’s also Niylah’s room and he feels uncomfortable whenever he walks in there. But this is a special circumstance, the future of his dating life depends on him taking the bullet and checking to see if his mom is awake. Besides, the door _is_ half open and it’s usually closed so that makes him feel a little better.

Aden quietly walks into the room and sees both his mother and Niylah fast asleep. Even Niylah’s annoyingly loud dog is asleep at the foot of the bed. He lets out a quiet sigh of relief before tiptoeing back to his room. He fluffs his pillows to make it look like he fell asleep. The boy gets another text and sees that it’s from Elle. She’s outside. Aden smiles as he texts back and quietly sneaks out the side door on the first floor.

Now Aden has never snuck out of the house before. He was always the ‘good child.’ Good grades, good at sports, amazing at writing. Adria was the same way. Only difference is that Adria partied _a lot_...well she still does, maybe even more now that their mom’s have gotten divorced. But that’s beside the point. The point is that Aden was always a sweet innocent kid. He has never even has a sip of alcohol before (unless you count that glass of champagne at his Aunt Anya’s wedding last year.) He smoked pot that one time last week but other than that, he’s never done the wrong thing a day in his life. Now he’s sneaking out while grounded to go to a party on a school night with a real live beautiful girl.

“Hey Aden.” Elle sweetly says as the boy gets in the passenger seat.

“Hi Elle. Uh you look really beautiful tonight.” _Nice that was smooth right?_

“Oh thanks.” The girl blushes a little and Aden knows he said the right thing.

“So where are we going?”

“Preston is having a party tonight. You know I never knew you were into this scene until Jasper mentioned how you were grounded because your mom caught you smoking pot. I would have invited you out much sooner if I knew.” Elle winks and focuses her attention back on driving. Aden feels like he’s having a heart attack right there and then in the best possible way. Elle thinks about him too?! Oh gosh, this can’t actually be happen. 

_Just be smooth. Be smooth Aden. You got this._

“Oh yeah I smoke the pot all the time.” Aden confidently says and Adria shots him an amused smirk.

“That was your first time smoking, wasn’t it?”

“What?! No of course no- yeah yeah it totally was.” Aden facepalms and groans out in embarrassment. “How could you tell?”

“Well for starters you said that you ‘smoke the pot’ and that’s a really weird way to phrase that. Plus, everyone knows you're one of those golden boys who do no wrong.” Elle laughs when Aden groans out in embarrassment again.

“Don’t be embarrassed Aden. It’s not a bad thing. Quite frankly, it’s a breathe of fresh air. Everyone I know is obsessed with partying and sex. But you’re different. I like that.”

Elle pulls up to a red light so she puts her hand a top of Aden’s and squeezes his hand before releasing it and driving again. Aden’s heart has never gone faster.

They arrive at the party and everyone is already drunk and high out of their minds. This is Aden’s first party..unless you count birthday parties with party hats and clowns from when everyone was still young and sweet like Aden still is. Aden scrunches up his face at the overwhelming smell of weed. He didn’t like the smell or taste the first time but now this was just overbearing. The blonde is a lot like his mother though and schools his features to appear stoic.

“Hey El ya made it! Better late than never.” Preston slurs and sloppily throws one arm around Aden and the other around Elle. Preston looks at Aden and does a double take.

“Holy shit? Aden Woods man! How are ya doing buddy? Never thought I would see you at one of these.”

It’s not that Aden isn’t well liked in school. Aden is well known actually. He’s a straight A student and a track star so everyone knows the youngest Woods. He’s just quiet so not many people know him beyond cordialities. 

Aden, Preston, and Elle small talk for a few more minutes before Preston walks away to grab another beer. The drunk senior turns around and calls out to them.

“Oh the candy is upstairs in the bathroom. I know that’s your favorite El but take it easy on Woods, alright?” Aden looks confused and Elle’s face is guarded but her eyes scream desperation and need. She hasn’t had anything for quite some time now. She doesn’t want to pull Aden into that scene though. No fucking way in hell.

///

The party is in full swing and Adria is already many drinks in, eagerly looking around for Lincoln. She needs him. Not just for a fuck either (although that wouldn’t be half too bad). No, she needs her best friend. Her heart is hurting after that altercation with Clarke. So yeah she needs him but she can’t find him. She can’t find him and he didn’t even bother to mention the party tonight. Adria feels like he’s slipping away and she doesn’t know why. Everything is great between them.

“Well well well if it isn’t my favorite poet Adria Woods.” Adria spins around as soon as she recognizes the voice. Paul Tilling. Paul is on the hockey team with Lincoln and a part of the frat. She’s hooked up with him a few times. He’s easy on the eyes and half decent in the sheets.

“Hey Paul.” Adria turns up her charm and smiles.

“You look beautiful as always.” 

“Well thank you. You look handsome.”

Adria looks over his shoulder as he slightly blushes and sees Lincoln finally enter the party.

“So can I get you another drink and we could maybe catch up?” Paul hopefully asks but all Adria can see in Lincoln in this moment. He is looking right back at her with a frown on his face and he shakes his head and walks away. Adria frowns at the sight. What is going on with him? 

“Uhh maybe next time Paul. I’m sorry I have to go talk to Lincoln.” Adria quickly mumbles and hurries off to chase after her best friend who is currently ignoring her.

“Linc! What’s up with you today?”

“Me? Nothing.” Lincoln mumbles as he grabs a beer from the cooler in the backyard. 

“Don’t be like that. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” 

Lincoln scoffs and looks up. Adria swears she sees immense pain flash through his eyes before it disappears.

“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it Dri.” Lincoln pats her on the back and walks away, leaving a dumbfounded Adria in his wake. Lincoln walks up to a group of his hockey friends and Adria shakes her head, stunned into silence that Lincoln just blew her off. She sees Lincoln’s ex longtime girlfriend walk up to the group and smile and the muscular hockey player.

Adria sees red. Octavia and Lincoln dated on and off in high school. The girl went to a college across town so she comes to some parties at UCLA sometimes. Lincoln and her still occasionally hook up when she does. Adria doesn’t know why she cares anyways. They’re best friends who sleep together but there are zero feelings beyond that. Right? _Right, because feelings are bullshit and will only break your heart._ Adria reminds herself before wondering off into the house to find Paul.

An hour later, Adria and Paul are together “catching up” in his bedroom upstairs. When they finish, Adria leaves Paul in his Star Wars boxers and strides out of his room. The upstairs of the fraternity is off limits during parties...unless you’re a part of the frat and live there of course. So that’s how Adria stumbles on Octavia and Lincoln in a heated makeout session in the hallway. The brunette stops in her spot and her mouth falls to the floor in a gasp. Lincoln and Octavia part. Lincoln wears a guilty look until he looks behind her and sees Paul hurrying out of the bedroom buttoning up his shirt. Then the tattooed ‘big ol teddy bear’ looks as if he’s physically in pain. He mutters an apology to Octavia, something along the lines of “I can’t do this anymore” and hurries off to his room alone. Adria, Paul, and Octavia awkwardly stand in the hallway unsure of what just happened and unsure of what to do next. 

“Uh well I’m just gonna go.” Octavia awkwardly mumbles before going back downstairs.

“Hey. You okay? What just happened?” Paul places his hand on Adria’s shoulder and she has to will herself not to flinch from the touch. She suddenly feels wrong and remorseful.

“Yeah everything’s fine. I’m going to go check on Lincoln.” Adria falsely smiles and Paul unsurely nods before heading off downstairs. The brunette blue eyed girl takes a deep breath before walking into Lincoln’s room without knocking (she never knocks).

“Hey..can we talk?”

///

“Hey I’ll be right back. Grab us two beers?” Elle whispers in Aden’s ear and scurries upstairs. When she comes back, Aden is sitting on the couch with one beer and one water. Elle looks dazed and her pupils are blown.

“Hey you.” Elle says as she saunters into the room and plops down next to Aden. She sees the one water and frowns. “What’s wrong? Why aren’t you drinking?”

“I would but one of us has to drive your car later.” Aden confidently says.

“Do you have your license?”

“No I’m not sixteen yet. But I have my permit so I know how to drive.”

“Okay are you sure though? I’ll be sober in a few hours. I want you to have some fun tonight and let loose.” Elle flirts and Aden softly smiles.

“Next time I promise.” Aden says and his cheeks turn flush once he realizes he insinuated there will be a next time. Elle just smiles along and grabs his hand.

“You know, you’re a really stand up guy. I want to show you something. Follow me.”

The pair ends up in Preston’s empty backyard, laying in the grass and gazing up at the stars. Elle’s hand is so close to his. All he has to do is move his hand a few more inches and he could be holding her hand. He gulps nervously and takes the plunge. Her hands are so soft and warm. When she squeezes his hand and doesn’t let go, Aden’s face breaks out into a grin.  
“Tell me about your life.”

“My life? There’s not much to say really.” Aden mumbles.

“Come onnn! That’s a lie. You’re interesting Aden Woods. Start with the basics. What’s your family like?” Elle prods, her dilated eyes focused on the stars but her ears focused on the boy next to her nervously telling his life story.

“Um well I have two moms and one older sister. Moms are a painter and a writer.”

“Lexa Woods right? Everyone in school knows how famous she is.” Elle curiously interjects and Aden nods a ‘yes’ to the question. “What was it like growing up with such a famous mom? How cool is she? Her books are awesome!”

“Honestly, we were just like any other family. And my mom is definitely _not_ cool. She’s really a dork and I mean that in the best way possible. You should see the way she squeals when she reads the back cover of a book she likes. She’s such a nerd but I love her.”

Elle smiles. She likes to hear about families that aren’t broken..families so contrasting from hers.

“What about your other mom? The painter?”

“Oh yeah. Her name is Clarke. She’s really talented and she’s actually pretty famous in the art world. I guess you could say they were a power couple.” Aden quietly whispers the last part. The past tense of ‘were’ is not lost on Elle.

“They aren’t together anymore?” Elle gently asks and Aden sighs heavily.

“No they just got divorced. I transition between both houses. It’s really hard. We used to all be so happy.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I’m not entirely sure. It just started to become more and more apparent that they weren’t really talking to each other. They just broke apart. But there might be more to the story that I don’t know. I’m too afraid to ask but I think my sister knows something I don’t. She refuses to talk to one of my moms. I love them both too much to pick a side. I try to make them both happy but it's hard because I know it's never good enough." Aden sadly mumbles the last part. He really does try to fix everything but he just can't. 

"Do you blame yourself?"

Aden ponders the question for a moment before responding. "No. I know it's not my fault. But I wish I could have done something to keep the family together." He knows the divorce wasn't his fault by any means, but that doesn't stop him from wishing he could have changed the outcome. I mean what kid doesn't want their family to stay together?

Elle shuffles closer to the boy and rests her head on his chest. She smiles when she feels how fast his heart is beating.

“I’m sorry Aden. Having a broken family is not something I’d wish on my worst enemy.

“It sounds like you’re speaking from experience.” Aden softly says.

“I am.” Elle says and looks up into Aden’s blue eyes. “My dad works for a big fancy company and is never home. My mom divorced him a long time ago and is on husband number five. Neither of them are ever around but when they are, they still aren’t around.”

“That sounds really lonely.” Aden quietly says, returning her equally intense gaze.

“I’m used to the feeling. But for some reason, I don’t feel all that lonely right now.” Elle murmurs before slightly leaning up. Aden’s eyes widen. He closes his eyes and leans the rest of the way, pressing his lips to hers. The kiss is at an awkward angle and short but it still causes butterflies in his stomach. When she pulls away, Aden opens his eyes and smiles.

“What the fuck Elle?! You found someone new that quick?!” A booming voice angrily echoes from behind them. Elle is quick to stand up, leaving a confused Aden to slowly get up and turn out.

As soon as he turns around a fist connects to his jaw and then his stomach, sending sharp searing pains racking his body. Aden stumbles over and before he knows it, another punch to the face is thrown his way. 

“Tristan stop! Stop it, you’re hurting him you piece of shit!” Elle shoves the taller, older boy and he shoves her right back. Aden never really fights but he knows how thanks to Lexa’s teachings. He could take the punches this kid was throwing his way but as soon as this Tristan character pushed Elle, he was done for.

The younger blonde boy winces in pain before tackling the brute to the floor. He punches him in the face once and knocks him out cold. The crowd that surrounded to watch the fight roars in excitement that the small quiet “golden boy” Aden not only got into a fight and won but did it with just one punch. Tristan groans out in pain, and starts waking up. Aden really doesn’t want to give this kid a concussion so he helps Elle up and whispers to her “it’s your turn to follow me now.”

Aden runs with Elle to her car. He drives her home and walks her to the door of her mother’s husband’s massive mansion. The car ride was silent. Neither sure how to start the conversation. Elle lightly touches Aden’s eye and he winces in pain.

“I’m so sorry that Tristan did this to you, Aden.” Elle’s hand lingers on the blonde boy’s bruised and battered face.

“I’m okay as long as you’re okay.” 

_Was that too cheesy? Oh god, I can’t tell if that was too cheesy or if that was smooth. ___

__“I’m okay.” Elle bites her lip and smiles. “Listen about Tristan. He’s my ex. We broke up like last week.”_ _

__“Oh.” Aden’s heart sinks. Is he just a rebound? Is he anything at all?_ _

__“I know it seems recent but I … we weren’t happy for a long time. Maybe ever. It’s different with you Aden. You see me for who I am not who you want me to be." Elle presses a kiss to Aden’s cheek and both her lips and his skin feels like it's tingling. "Get home safely. I'll see you at school in a few hours.” Elle whispers before going inside her house. Aden starts walking a few blocks to his house, in awe that all of that actually happened._ _

__It’s already morning and the sun is out, meaning that his mom is probably up and he’s caught. There is no way he was going to be able to hide his bruised face anyways. But it was all worth it because he got the girl._ _

__///_ _

__“Hey, can we talk?” Adria asks as she closes the door to Lincoln’s room so they can have privacy._ _

__“We have nothing to talk about.” Lincoln firmly says as he takes out his dress shirt and throws on a much more comfortable tank to sleep in as he slips out of his pants. “Just go Adria. I want to sleep.”_ _

__“No Lincoln, we need to talk!” Adria stubbornly sits on his bed, unmoving with her arms crossed defiantly._ _

__“Adria.” Lincoln says, clearly a mixture between annoyed and upset._ _

__“Lincoln. Talk to me. I’m your friend.”_ _

__That seems to do it. Lincoln tenses and swiftly turns around._ _

__“Exactly! That’s the problem Adria.” Lincoln whisper yells._ _

__“What do you mean?” Adria hesitantly asks._ _

__“I love you! I love you and not like a friend would. And you’re too afraid to take a real chance on us. You’re too afraid to love me back. That’s the problem.” Lincoln is full on yelling now._ _

__Adria’s eyes bulge out of her head and her mouth keeps opening and closing like a fish. Ok so maybe she was aware Lincoln _might_ have feelings for her. She knows that she loves Lincoln but love and commitment are two very different things. In the end, they will both end up heartbroken. It’s too much pain._ _

__“Lincoln I..”_ _

__Lincoln kneels down and cups her cheeks._ _

__“Just tell me that there’s a chance. I’ll wait for you. If you tell me that you need time, I will absolutely give you that time. But please Adria, don’t lie to me right now. Tell me how you really feel. Don’t be afraid.”_ _

__“I..I can’t. I’m so sorry.” Adria has tears streaming down her face as she sprints out of her best friend’s room, ignoring Lincoln calling her name. She can’t be here. She’s broken and before she can pick up the pieces, she needs to go to the source. She needs to talk to her mom._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was severely lacking clexa action but it was necessary for the plot. Don't worry next chapter has much more clexa. Their kids are clearly hurting over the divorce and it goes to show how much this family desperately needs to communicate with each other and their other loved ones (cough cough I'm looking at you Adria). Let me know what you think of this story so far. The plot is sort of rearing off course from the movie a bit, I hope you don't mind!
> 
> Also, in my head Elle looks like Elle Fanning haha. 
> 
> All kudos and comments are appreciated and loved so thank you very much :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes!

Lexa is soundly sleeping when she gets a phone call at 7 am. Now Lexa has never been an early riser, that was always Clarke. But nevertheless after the second phone call, she begrudgingly stomps over to her phone across the room and groggily picks up without bothering to look at caller ID.

“Hello??” Lexa annoyingly asks and hears some muffled yelling on the other line. She checks her caller ID and sees that it’s Clarke. 

_Why is Clarke calling me at this hour?_

“Um Clarke?” Lexa tries again and it seems to grab Clarke’s attention from whoever she’s reprimanding.

“Oh hi Lexa I didn’t realize you picked up already.” Clarke’s tone shifts from the angry yelling she just heard.

“Yeah so what’s up? Is everything alright?”

“I’m sorry to wake you, I know you’re not a morning person. But our son decided to not only sneak out while grounded but go to a party all night and get into a fight. His whole left eye is a swollen mess.”

Lexa wakes up completely as soon as she hears that Aden is hurt. She’s frustrated that Aden has taken her advice in the completely wrong direction and seems to be action out but that’s a concern for a different time.

“How bad is he hurt?” Lexa worriedly asks as she starts to swiftly change into clothes. 

“Well his face is pretty bruised but his eye is what concerns me is his eye. It’s swollen and red and he says his vision is blurry in that eye. I just figured I’d let you know I’m taking him to the emergency room just to be safe.” Clarke says as she gently holds Aden’s jaw at angle so she can get a better look at his eye.

“I’ll meet you there.” Lexa says as she grabs her keys.

“Oh uh you don’t have to. I’m sure he’s fine. I’m just taking him as a precaution.”

“I’m coming. He’s my son too Clarke.” Lexa snaps.

“I never said he wasn’t Lexa.” Clarke retorts. “Look just meet us at Grace Hospital. We’re leaving in 5.” Clarke curtly says and hangs up.

“Shit.” Lexa mumbles under her breath and sighs before hopping in her car. She gets to the hospital just as Clarke and Aden pull in the parking lot as well. Lexa rushes over to Aden and softly grabs his face.

“Kiddo I told you to go out and act your age for once. I _didn’t_ tell you to smoke pot, get grounded, sneak out while grounded, go to a party and get into a fight all in the same week.”

“I’m sorry Ma.”

“Yeah yeah. Did you forget those fighting techniques I taught you? Look at your face.”

Lexa closely examines her son’s swollen eye. It doesn’t look too good.

“I just didn’t want to fight him.” Aden mumbles.

“Well what started the fight in the first place?” Clarke asks from behind them and Lexa notices the embarrassed red painting his cheeks.

“Um well there was this girl. And they used to date and he didn’t like that I was talking to her.”

“Is this the same girl you mentioned last week?” Lexa lightly asks and Aden nods a ‘yes.’

Clarke’s face scrunches up. Aden likes a girl and told Lexa but not her? I mean when they were married, Lexa was always Aden’s go to parent for advice and Adria always went to Clarke. But now, nobody goes to Clarke. The blonde can’t help but feel a little sorry for herself and more so, sorry that she ruined her family. 

“Alright we can figure out the details later. First let’s bring him inside to get him checked out.” Clarke briskly says and Lexa looks over at her with narrow eyes but nevertheless nods.  
Once they get him all checked in, the doctors whisk examine Aden and give him some pain pills. Aden asks if he can sleep at Lexa’s tonight and Clarke hides her hurt but nevertheless nods. Lexa can see the pain in Clarke’s eyes. The two mothers give Aden his pills and make him lunch. There is an awkward tension in the air. Lexa knows she snapped at Clarke earlier but she was just worried about Aden. She wonders what is upsetting Clarke so. Aden is fine. Aden eases the tension and once lunch is over, Aden goes off for a nap. Lexa and Clarke are staring at eachother until Clarke clears her throat.

“I can clean these dishes for you.” Clarke says with a polite smile.

“It’s okay C. You don’t have to do that.” Lexa tries to take the dishes from Clarke but the blonde ignores her attempts and starts cleaning them. Lexa smiles a little and begins to clear the table. Clarke seems off still so Lexa decides it’s finally time to address whatever’s bothering the blonde.

“Look Clarke, I’m sorry for snapping at you earlier. I was just worried.” Lexa apologetically murmurs to a distracted Clarke, who barely picks up what her ex is saying to her.

“What?” Clarke responds, her head clearly somewhere else.

“I said I’m sorry for snapping at you. I -”

“It’s fine Lexa.” Clarke waves her off, politely dismissing her apology but Lexa can tell in Clarke’s eyes that she’s sad and confused. 

“What’s wrong C? I can tell something’s bugging you.” Lexa gently probes, moving closer to Clarke.

Clarke deeply sighs and locks gazes with her ex. God those eyes of hers will always be Clarke’s greatest weakness. “Aden didn’t tell me he liked a girl. He didn’t mention the girl to me at all, but he told you. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so happy you two have a strong relationship. I just wished he felt comfortable with me too.” Clarke softly says, her voice tinged with sadness.

“Oh Clarke..you have to know he loves you all the same.” Lexa tries, but she knows this is an extremely sore spot for Clarke. She was never close with her mother so she’s always tried her hardest to be a great mother to their kids and she has been. But now Adria refuses to talk to her and now she thinks Aden is pulling away too.

“I know he loves me. I just..” Clarke shakes her head and looks down at the ground, focused on playing with the hem of her shirt.

“You just what?” Lexa asks.

“I ruined everything Lex. Our family is broken because of me. And nothing will ever be the same.” Clarke hoarsely says, her voice thick with regret and emotion. Lexa didn’t miss how Clarke said ‘Lex’ not Lexa. It felt good. It felt right.

Lexa’s heart stops beating. Does Clarke really think that? Their marriage ending wasn’t all Clarke’s fault. She shouldn’t bear all the blame. Lexa desperately wishes she could hold Clarke in her arms once more and comfort her. She wishes she could kiss her soundly and tell her that they still _can_ be a family again, that she’s still waiting for her to find her way back to her.

“No..absolutely not Clarke. You didn’t ruin this marriage. I did. I was never home. I gave up on us.” Lexa moves closer and closer until she can touch Clarke’s hand. 

“You were distant Lex but you didn’t…” Clarke swallows deeply. “You didn’t do what I did.”

Lexa looks like a kicked puppy at the mention of it. She feels the tears welling in her eyes as she remembers the day her marriage really ended.

_One Year Ago_

_Lexa came home around 12am. She was out with her editors all night at a local tavern, discussing her upcoming book’s launch. The brunette is a little shy of tipsy. Aden is away at a weekend karate tournament and Adria is sleeping at her friend’s house. It’s a Saturday night and she has the house to herself. Well besides, her wife. Clarke texted her this morning that they needed to talk and Lexa has been all nerves since. That’s one of the reasons why she drank all night with her editors, she was avoiding whatever Clarke wanted to talk about. The only time her and Clarke talk nowadays is when they’re arguing or talking about the kids. Clarke and her have not been getting along well lately and it’s entirely her fault. She’s been pulling away from the blonde and despite her wife’s continued persistent efforts, Lexa just isn’t budging. The brunette is busy and she feels like her marriage is in a slump. If she’s being honest, she just doesn’t have the time to spare to make an effort with Clarke right now. She loves her wife though. She will never stop loving Clarke._

_Lexa unlocks the front door and hears music playing upstairs. Lexa walks up the stairs and hears Clarke humming to a familiar tune. Their wedding song, Lexa thinks and smiles to herself. Clarke is in her paint room so Lexa decides to make her way to the renovated basement to maybe try and talk to her wife for once. Clarke has her hair down and flowing. She’s wearing Lexa’s old baggy Polis U sweatshirt and black workout shorts. Lexa gulps at the sight. How could she have been ignoring this beauty in front of her for so long?_

_Clarke hears the footsteps and is startled at the sound. She turns around and curses. It’s just her wife though. Clarke finds herself sighing at the sight of Lexa when she used to smile and get butterflies. Lexa is awkwardly standing in the doorway. They haven’t had a real conversation in over 8 months. Lexa usually just goes to her study and reads and writes all night. Clarke barely wakes up to Lexa in bed with her as the brunette usually sleeps on the sofa in her study by choice. Lexa hasn’t touched her in a year. She hasn’t looked at her like a woman in all that time either. They don’t even feel like wife and wife anymore. They’re more like co parents who co habitate at this point. A cold shiver goes down Clarke’s spine when she hears her wife speak._

_“Hi.” Lexa says as she scratches the back of her head._

_“Hi.” Clarke says calmly, even though she’s far from it._

_“I uh..got your text this morning saying we needed to talk?” Lexa says, her nerves slightly showing._

_Clarke sighs and wordlessly nods. She looks up to Lexa and she can tell the brunette is on edge, maybe even a little annoyed. They need to talk though. This might be their last chance to make things right. “I’ll meet you upstairs in the living room.” Clarke says as she busies herself with putting away her paints and brushes. Lexa swallows and nods before making her way to the living room to sit anxiously on the couch. Are the kids okay? Is Clarke going to bitch at her some more? Is something wrong with her wife’s health? Oh god, is Adria pregnant? All these questions zoom in her mind as she hears Clarke’s footsteps closer and closer to her. What could Clarke possibly want to talk about?_

_“Okay...so you wanted to talk?” Lexa tries again, looking at the blonde sitting next to her unsurely. It’s ridiculous how awkward this feels. Clarke is her wife! They shouldn’t feel like this right now. They _used to_ tell eachother everything. ‘Used to’ being the operative words. _

_“Yes. I think.. God why is this so hard to say?” Clarke bitterly chuckles to herself and Lexa’s hand itches to take Clarke’s in her own and calm her. But she doesn’t. It feels like she would be crossing a line. But when did that line get there? They are wife and wife and Lexa feels like she’s overstepping a boundary if she holds her own wife’s hand. Did she put this boundary there without even realizing it?_

_“I think we need to go see a marriage counselor.” Clarke says confidently, her eyes catching the surprise and shock in Lexa’s widened green orbs._

_“What?” Lexa whispers loudly. “Absolutely not.” Lexa shakes her head vigorously. “I don’t need some stranger to heard the intimate details of our life. No thank you.”_

_“What ‘intimate details’ Lexa?! We haven’t had sex in a year! I can’t even remember the last time you kissed me.” Clarke snaps and Lexa’s eyebrows furrow as she tries to do the math. Has it really been that long?_

_“No. I kissed you yesterday.” Lexa says with confusion written on her face._

_Clarke’s face mirrors great disappointment. “You kissed my cheek like a robot and only because it’s a part of your daily routine. It’s like muscle memory to you and that doesn’t count. When was the last time we kissed on the lips? A real kiss Lex.”_

_“I..I don’t remember. But a marriage is more than sex Clarke. We are just going through a slump. It’s fine.” Lexa half heartedly assures Clarke. She’s a little drunk right now and very tired._

_“Are you kidding me?! I know what marriage is Lexa. I try to be the best wife I can to you. It’s never good enough! And you’re never here.” Clarke starts to feel her heart crack. She realizes this marriage isn’t working. There really is nothing left to salvage, is there?_

_“I’m always here Clarke.” Lexa says, still not getting it. She’s drunk and oblivious to just how serious this problem is. “I’m always here for everyday soccer game, dance recital, and holiday. How could you say I’m not?”_

_“You’re there for the kids! You’re never here for me. You are like a robot with me Lexa. How can you not see the change in our marriage?! I mean what is it? Is there another woman? You’re cheating on me, aren’t you?!” Clarke is starting to get emotional. This is the last ditch effort she has left in her._

_“Really Clarke?!” Lexa asks incredulously. “How could you even ask me such a fucked up question!? You know I would never cheat on you. I fucking love you. Maybe things have been different, sure! But I’m busy! I can’t cater to your every whim. You can’t expect me to sit around doing everything you want ! So excuse me if I’m not as whipped as Anya is with Raven, but I have a life too. I’m here every goddamn day. Don’t you try and say I’m not.” Lexa slurs her words. She hates when people call her a ‘robot’ and Clarke knows it. Clarke knows about her childhood when the kids would make fun of her for her stoic face. They would call her a robot everyday and Lexa would go home to cry for hours. She had no friends and her parents were addicts who ignored her for the most part. She had no one and she started to believe that she had no feelings...that is until Clarke. Sometimes it’s easy for Lexa to slip back into her old ways when she’s stressed. She’s been stressed for quite some time now and she is taking it out on Clarke, but she’s too proud to say that._

_Clarke looks at her wife and she sees a completely different person. This isn’t her Lexa. This is a stranger wearing her wife’s face. The blonde doesn’t know how to fix this. Is there even anything left to fix? Lexa has shut down on her and there’s no way to open her back up._

_“I can’t do this anymore.” Clarke says softly almost like a whisper and it completely sobers Lexa up._

_“What do you mean ‘you can’t do this anymore, Clarke?” Lexa says while moving to cup Clarke’s cheeks. The way her wife just spoke sent shivers down her spine. She sounded like she was giving up on their marriage? But that’s not right. They’re just have a marital spat. They’ve fought before just like a married couples. This is just one of those times, isn’t it?_

_“I can’t be your wife anymore Lex. We’ve been over for a long time now. I can’t keep holding on for the both of us.” Clarke says as she wipes her tears away. Lexa just slowly removes her hand from Clarke’s thigh as she just stares at her wife as if Clarke had just committed the ultimate betrayal._

_“Clarke..you’re not serious.” Lexa croaks out._

_“I wish I wasn’t but I am Lex.” Clarke breathes out. “I’m so sorry. I have to go.” She gets up and runs upstairs. Lexa can hear movement in their bedroom and perhaps crying but she can’t move. Everything is in slow motions and muffled. She’s numb. It’s like she’s in a state of shock._

_Clarke comes down the stairs with an overnight bag. “Thanks so much Becca. I’ll be there soon.” Lexa hears the end of Clarke’s conversation with her old high school friend. The brunette is numb. Clarke stands in front of Lexa, who has yet to move._

_“I’m leaving for the night. I..I’ll be staying at Becca’s if you need to contact me about the kids.” Clarke says, trying to keep herself together until she gets into the car._

_Lexa just looks up at her with tears in her eyes. “I don’t understand this Clarke.”_

_Clarke sadly smiles and looks at her wife. “I know you don’t.” The blonde wipes away the fear tears that have fallen. “And that’s why this isn’t working anymore...Goodbye Lex.”_

_Lexa hears the front door close and sobs wrack her body. Lexa’s air supply is forcibly removed from her body. Her Clarke. Her beautiful entrancing wife didn’t want to be hers anymore? No more sharing their lives together. No more Christmas mornings with hot cocoa in their hands all snuggled up watching their kids light up with excitement as they open their presents. No more gentle lovemaking in the dark. No more Clarke and Clarke. It’s like a switch goes off in Lexa. She can’t let this go._

_Lexa gets up in a hurry and decides to drive after the blonde. But fuck, she can’t as she’s too drunk. The brunette curses herself for drinking so much. She’ll need to take a cab but she doesn’t even know where this Becca character lives._

_Becca is one of Clarke’s close friends from high school. They were each other's firsts before Becca moved away. It was one drunken night when the girls were 16. Clarke had just broken up with her on again off again long term boyfriend Wells. She never loved Wells but Wells loved her. She realized they were better off as friends as she felt nothing romantic for him. He didn’t take it well though and called her a ‘good for nothing ditzy whore.’ Clarke went to Becca for comfort and they got drunk off Clarke’s parents wine and had sex. From what Clarke told Lexa, it was more about comfort than anything else. After that, they went back to being strictly friends and a month later, Becca moved away to Ireland for her father’s new job._

_Clarke and Becca had on and off limited contact for years but just 6 months ago the woman moved back to the states. Lexa remembers Clarke was so excited. It made her so jealous. Clarke never got excited about her anymore, but then again she never made much effort anymore anyways. Clarke and Becca picked off right where they left off. Lunch every week and sometimes weekend outings. Clarke tried to get Lexa to come and meet the young woman but Lexa refused. She didn’t want to meet this woman who her wife was so close with. She didn’t want to meet her because she already didn’t like her. She always grew short with Clarke whenever she brought up Becca up until the point where Clarke just stopped mentioning her friend to Lexa. The already existent distance between her and Clarke grew tenfold._

_Lexa dials Clarke’s phone but it’s off. She calls again. And again. Frustrated, she throws her phone hard against the wall and it shatters. The brunette lays down on the couch and cries herself to sleep. She can’t lose Clarke. She just cant. She’ll do whatever it takes to get her wife back._

_///_

_The next morning she hears the door open and Lexa groggily sits up from the couch. It’s Clarke and her eyes and red and puffy. She looks like shit and smells like alcohol. There’s a sad defeated look in her eyes that are swimming with guilt. The hope that Lexa had when she saw Clarke walk back through those doors suddenly bottomed out._

_“Lex..” Clarke breathes out with deep remorse pitted in her stomach._

_“Clarke…” Lexa tries out her favorite word but it feels bitter now._

_“I made a big mistake last night.” Clarke shakily says._

And a big mistake she made indeed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't kill me for ending it there. Clarke made a mistake yes and next chapter it will be revealed..I already have everything planned out so I just have the time to write it. My next update will prob be for 'Leaving Home' Enjoy my lovelies


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Lexa revisit the past. They talk some more and stuff happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes!

“You made a mistake. It was just one stupid moment. My mistakes were drawn out. I got lost and somewhere along the way, I lost you too.” Lexa mumbles the last part insecurely, tucking a strand of her own hair subconsciously behind her ear.

Clarke face grows solemn and sad. There’s so much regret in her eyes.

“Lexa...this isn’t all your fault. I don’t want you living in the past like this, it’s no way to live. You deserve better and I want you..” Clarke speaks softly and it’s heartbreaking when her voice cracks for the sheer emotion of it all. “I want you to move on.”

Lexa shuts her eyes and a few tears escape her eyes. “I can’t do that Clarke.” She whispers so quiet and vulnerable that it breaks both women’s hearts.

“I’ve been in love with the same woman since I was 19 years old when she hit me in the head with a volleyball on the very beach outside of the house we’ve shared our life together in. She’s the mother of my children, my muse, the only person who makes me feel safe. I can never duplicate this..what we had.” Lexa’s eyes are glassy and staring straight into Clarke’s soul. Clarke tries to swallow down her emotions but it’s not working. For a whole year, she hasn’t let Lexa see the tears she cried for her ex wife. Today may very well be the day that her efforts fail, however. Lexa steps closer and closer to the blonde until Clarke is pressed up against the sink. 

Clarke stares into Lexa’s eyes and the brunette cups her ex’s cheeks. She has no idea where this courage is stemming from but Clarke isn’t pushing her away yet. Lexa gently rubs her fingers and caresses her ex’s face, awaiting Clarke’s response. She knows she will probably be rejected but there is fear in Clarke’s face. Fear to go over the edge with Lexa once more. Lexa wants to show Clarke that this time, if there is a this time at all, that she will never leave her side. She will always be there for her.

Clarke looks like she has a millions thoughts swimming in her head. She’s overwhelmed by the intensity of Lexa’s gaze and words. She doesn’t know what to say. Lexa was never around but she put the final nail in the coffin that was their marriage. Everything just starts thrashing around her heart and Clarke can’t take it. She can breathe in Lexa’s earthy scent and she can feel her rough hands grasping her face with soft touches and unspoken love. It’s all too much and all too little at the same time. Clarke just wants to drown in Lexa..so she does.

“Lexa...I’m so sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” Clarke’s first tear falls and it’s like a dam breaking. 

The blonde tightly grips her ex by the waist, sobbing into her neck. Lexa wraps her arms around the crying blonde and it feels like coming home. Clarke cries in her ex lover’s arms until she has no tears left, her body is limp and exhausted. Her makeup probably looks like a racoon. 

Lexa can hear Clarke sniffling a little, her tears finally letting up. This is it. This is her moment. If she lets Clarke slip by again, she will never forgive herself. She can feel Clarke slowly loosening her grip on her waist, like she’s about to pull away.

Even though she’s finished crying, it’s nice to be in Lexa’s embrace again so she just stays there for a little while longer. But then a switch goes off in Clarke’s head and she remembers that Lexa isn’t hers anymore and she isn’t Lexa’s. Clarke removes herself from her ex wife’s embrace hurriedly and moves to find her purse.

“Shit. Lexa..I-I don’t know where that came from. I have to go. I’m sorry.” Clarke frantically searches for her purse, leaving a frozen Lexa in her wake.

“Clarke..wait please.” Lexa’s voice isn’t loud nor demanding but it is desperate. It’s so soft that Clarke isn’t even sure if Lexa has said anything at all. But then the blonde can hear the hesitant footsteps approaching her and she knows it’s Lexa.

“Don’t run away from this, from me...f-from us.” Lexa quietly says, oh so close to Clarke but far enough that they still aren’t touching. Clarke shuts her eyes and shakes her head, she can’t go through this again. Lexa shut her out. She abandoned her for a year. And now she wants her back? But everything is so different now. She’s different. Lexa’s different. What if they don’t fit anymore? Clarke doesn’t think she can survive another break up with Lexa.

“Lexa..everything has changed.” Clarke whispers. She shudders when she feels Lexa’s hands touch her arms. Lexa takes a risk and presses a soft kiss to Clarke’s temple.

“Who says the change can’t be for the better?” Lexa whispers into Clarke’s hair, surprisingly Clarke doesn’t move. “Clarke, we were broken before. Why can’t we build something new? Me and you.”

Clarke doesn’t know what to say, what to do. She doesn’t want to screw up anymore, but Lexa’s fingers on her feels so good. Even though it was only for a split second, Lexa’s lips on her skin jolted her alive. She’s never felt that way with Niylah. Oh shit Niylah. Clarke hasn’t even spared a thought about the other blonde since this whole altercation. I suppose that should say enough about their relationship alone. 

“I cheated on you.” Clarke turns around and looks at Lexa who winces at the words. All of Lexa’s courage goes down the drain in four word. The brunette looks defeated.

“You didn’t though, not really.” Lexa tries.

“No, don’t you do that. Don’t let me off the hook so easy.” Clarke speaks softly. “Lexa, I ended things and the same night I went out and-”

“Stop! I know what you did!” Lexa shouts, startling both her and Clarke. “I don’t want to hear the details.” Her voice is much softer now, broken even. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because we can’t ignore the past Lexa. That would be our first mistake. You haven’t forgiven me. We can’t start a relationship when there’s resentment and a lack of trust. It’ll fall apart...and this time, I won’t survive it.”

Lexa can’t say the words ‘I forgive you.’ She can’t say them and she knows that without saying them, Clarke will never be hers again. Lexa refused to listen to Clarke that night she came back from Becca’s and she’s refusing to listen to her now.

///

_One Year Ago_

_“Lex..” Clarke breathes out with deep remorse pitted in her stomach._

_“Clarke…” Lexa tries out her favorite word but it feels bitter now._

_“I made a big mistake last night.” Clarke shakily says._

_Lexa stares at her wife blankly, trying her best not to jump to conclusions. Her mascara is smeared and her eyes are red. She looks like she cried the whole car ride home. Her blouse is wrinkled and the very last button is unbuttoned. She has her shoes in her hand. Her blonde hair that Lexa used to love to stick her hands in during lovemaking is messy like she just woke up._

_“No..” Lexa shakes her head and gets up off the couch, clutching at her head._

_“I was so drunk and I-I was so mad at you for not coming after me, w-which is stupid because I was the one who ended it. And Becca-” Clarke tries to hurry to explain herself._

_“I DID TRY TO COME AFTER YOU! I TRIED!” Lexa screams. Lexa never screams, never raises her voice. But something in her is broken now. She’s pretty sure her wife just had sex with someone else and it’s killing her. And suddenly it all made sense. Clarke is always with Becca. Becca, her first, her best friend. You never forget your first. And now she’s back. She is giving Clarke all the attention that Lexa hasn’t been. This might not be the first time, but even if it is, it probably isn’t the last. Lexa has lost her. She can actually feel her heart breaking. “You know what, I don’t care.”_

_“Lexa.” Clarke cries out. “Please, listen to me.” Clarke cries, trying to reach out for her but Lexa just shakes her off._

_“You want your divorce, you can have it. Now leave me the fuck alone. I don’t care what you do or who, for that matter. We aren’t together. We’re done, you made sure of that.” Lexa pushes the words out like they’re venom. The brunette shuts down, just like how she used to before she met Clarke. No emotions, no pain. Clarke doesn’t want her anymore. Fucking someone else is just icing on the cake._

_“Give me some time to collect my things. Then I’ll go.” Lexa monotonically says._

_“No..this is your house too. I want the divorce. I should be the one to leave.” Clarke states, shocked at how cold Lexa is being. She didn’t want to believe it, but she was right. Lexa truly doesn’t care anymore._

_Lexa nods and goes off into the kitchen. When Clarke has lost sight of her, she walks up the stairs, frozen and numb. Once Lexa hears her front door shut, signaling Clarke’s departure from the home they’ve built together, she breaks down. She throws the mug Clarke made her in her sculpting days against the wall and bursts into tears. She smashes a plate and falls to the floor, mourning the loss of her marriage._

_“Mama, shh. Shh, it’s gonna be okay.” Adria runs in, hugging her mother._

_“Adria? Baby, when did you get home?” Lexa gently questions, her voice cracking at the end of the sentence._

_“I snuck past you on the couch last night when you were asleep. Me and Kristen had a fight so I came home early.” Adria says guiltily._

_“Oh baby, I’m so sorry you heard that.” Lexa quietly says, holding tightly onto her daughter and kissing her forehead._

_“I can’t believe she cheated on you. I can’t believe she asked you for a divorce. I feel like I don’t even know my own mother anymore.” Adria heartbreakingly says._

_“No Adria. Your mother is still your mom. Whatever happens between me and her, shouldn’t affect how you look at her.” Lexa might be furious at Clarke, but she refuses to drag her kids into this._

_“But it does.”_

_And that was the end of their perfect family._

///

“I can’t talk about it Clarke!” Lexa raises her voice again.

“This was a mistake. I should go.” Clarke calmly states, wiping her tears away. The blonde grabs her purse and walks out the door. And Lexa lets her go.

“I..fuck..” The brunette shakes her head and runs after her, catching Clarke right before she enters her car.

“I hate thinking about it.” Lexa says breathlessly and Clarke turns around, tears freely streaming down her face.

“I hate thinking about her kissing you, her putting her hands on you. It makes my blood fucking boil. My body is actually shaking right now just thinking about it.” Lexa says, her voice slightly louder than usual.

“Lex-”

“No! You let me finish. You wanted to talk about it, so let me talk.” Lexa says, holding her ground. Clarke nods dumbly.

“But it was a mistake. You made a mistake. A big fucking mistake, but I love you Clarke. I can accept your mistakes, just like you’ve accepted mine. This isn’t the first time we’ve been at a crossroad like this. You took me back after I fucked up all those years ago. I can forgive you for sleeping with Becca.” Lexa notices the way Clarke’s face scrunches up at her last sentence. “What?”

“I didn’t realize that you thought me and Becca..” Clarke gently says, her eyes sad. “You never let me tell you the story. Can I please tell you what happened that night?”

Lexa is confused but she nods. She doesn’t want to her all the details of her wife..well ex wife... having sex with someone else. But it looks like Clarke needs to get this off her chest, so for Clarke’s sake, she’ll suffer through the details. Clarke sucks in a shaky breath and begins.

“I went over to Becca’s and we drank some wine and cried...well I cried and she listened. A couple bottles in, we were both drunk. I’m not sure how it happened but she kissed me. And I let her. Next thing I know, she’s on top of me and we are on the bed. Both of our tops were off and she started to unbuckle my belt.” Clarke carefully says, watching the sadness that envelops Lexa as she tells the story.

“I don’t want to hear this Clarke.” Lexa croaks out, her voice cracking.

“Just let me finish please. I’m almost done, I promise” It’s such a vulnerable plea from the blonde. Lexa nods, her eyes never leaving the pebbles of her walkway.

“I realized what I was doing and I stopped it.” Clarke says and Lexa’s head shoots up.

“But I thought...you said..” Lexa’s head is a whirlwind. Clarke didn’t sleep with her?.. But that’s the reason Lexa gave Clarke the divorce. She realized that Clarke was truly done with her and there was nothing left to fight for. If she only knew that Clarke didn’t sleep with Becca, she would have fought the divorce. She would have fought for her love.

“I didn’t sleep with Becca. I grabbed my shirt and called Raven. She came and picked me up. I passed out on her couch and the next morning I went and picked up my car from Becca’s. I told her it was a mistake and she understood. I haven’t spoken to her since.” Clarke finishes her story and looks up at Lexa seems pissed. Clarke is confused.

“You..never slept with her?” Lexa carefully asks.

“Not since I was a teenager.” Clarke replies truthfully, still confused at Lexa’s anger.

“You said you cheated on me! Why did you have to say that, Clarke?!” Lexa snaps.

“Because..I did cheat on you? I may not have slept with Becca, but I still-”

“I would have fought for you! I wanted to fight for you, but I thought you wanted Becca! I thought you were having an affair!!” Lexa yells out.

“God, no. Lexa, our divorce wasn’t about another woman. Our divorce was because we were broken. I don’t know why you thought otherwise. I’m so sorry.” Clarke softly says, still a little confused.

“I thought I already lost you...to Becca. She listened to you. She treated you the way I should have. A-and then after the divorce, you never brought Becca around. I thought you were trying to be discreet for my sake. I just wanted you to be happy so I left you alone. Then a few months ago, Aden mentioned your new girlfriend Niylah. I was so confused. I figured you and Becca were over and I realized that maybe I still had a chance. That’s when I realized that I had to fight for you. I couldn’t let you go...I-I can’t let you go.”

Lexa has been getting closer and closer to Clarke this whole time. Both have tears in their eyes. 

“I love you. I’m never going to stop. I’m stuck in love.” Lexa pulls Clarke in close and wipes away her tears with the pad of her thumb. Clarke moves her face close to Lexa’s and the brunette holds her breath, waiting for Clarke’s move. The blonde leans up and presses her lips, wet with her own tears, to Lexa’s quivering lips. The kiss is gentle and cautious. Tears prick at both of their eyes as the kiss begins to get more heated. Lexa deepens the kiss and Clarke sighs out in pleasure. Both women know there is still so much to talk about. Right now though, they are finally kissing their true love’s lips once more. They break apart briefly, breathing heavy, and Clarke whispers against Lexa’s lips.

“I’m stuck in love with you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been so long! Finals are finally done with so hopefully I'll have time to update most of my fics very soon!! Thank you for comments and kudos. What do y'all think so far?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke tries to do the right thing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes.

Lexa feels invigorated. She pulls Clarke in impossibly closer and molds their lips together once more. Clarke clutches at her ex lover’s back and Lexa pushes Clarke against her truck. The kiss grows heated and so emotional. The exes are trying to pour every ‘I’m sorry,’ every ‘I love you,’ every ‘I miss you’ in their kisses. They’re crying into the kisses but they aren’t stopping, if anything their tears are fueling their passion more.

Lexa wishes she could grab Clarke by the thighs and carry her up to _their_ bedroom once more, but she can’t. The only thing stopping her from doing so is their fast asleep son in the next room. They’ve already messed their kids enough. They don’t need for Aden to hear them ‘making up.’

“We should stop before this gets too heated.” Clarke mumbles against her lips and Lexa chuckles, while wiping away the blonde’s tears.

“Baby, I think that ship has sailed.” Lexa’s breath is hot against Clarke’s lips.

“Say that again.” Clarke closes her eyes and rests her forehead against Lexa’s.

“Baby?” Lexa smiles and closes her eyes too. This feels too good to be true. She’s waiting to wake up in a empty bed again just like she always does whenever she has a dream like this.

“I missed hearing that.” Clarke croaks out.

“I missed saying it.” Lexa opens her eyes and is met with the most vibrant blue of her life.

“We still have a lot to talk about.” Clarke says and Lexa nods.

“Absolutely. I want to do it right this time. I promise I’ll listen better. I promise I’ll tell you how I feel. I’ll go to that counselor if you still want to. I can’t lose you again Clarke. I’m here to fight for us.” Lexa sweetly kisses Clarke’s lips for a second before embracing her again. Clarke runs her hands up and down Lexa’s back and nuzzles into Lexa’s neck. After enjoying the silence and physical closeness, they eventually break apart.

“I want all those things Lex. I promise to fight for us too. I just need to go straighten something out first. I should have done it before we kissed but I couldn’t resist you.” Clarke traces Lexa’s jaw. 

“You’re talking about Niylah?..” Lexa says defeatedly. For a split second, it felt like they never were apart. They were just Lexa and Clarke. Not Clarke and Lexa, divorced. Clarke, living with another woman. And Lexa, sleeping casually with another woman. It’s not suppose to be this way. They are suppose to live with _eachother_ and sleep with _eachother_. 

“Yes. It’s not fair to either of you. I need to end things with her before we can ever really begin.” Clarke sadly smiles. 

“I understand.” Lexa smiles, but it’s still very hard for her. She hates thinking about her Clarke with other people. She knows they will have to have a more in depth discussion about everything, potentially including that, but not now. “Will you be living there still or..do you want to maybe come back home?” Lexa sounds vulnerable and insecure asking the question, like she knows Clarke’s answer will be no.

“I wish I could. I don’t want to rush us though. The kids will be confused. We need to be sure before I come back.” Clarke sounds sad that she can’t say yes. Everything in her is telling her to move back in and never leave again but she can’t..not yet at least. Moving too fast would be there first mistake. They need to take this one step at a time. Everything is moving too fast.

Lexa’s looks sad but understanding.

“But when I do come back, and trust me one day I will, it will be for good.” Clarke cups Lexa’s cheeks and Lexa stares into her blue eyes. “You can’t get rid of me Lexa Woods.”

Lexa releases a watery laugh and pulls Clarke in close so that there lips are almost touching, but not quite. “And I’d never want to.” Lexa kisses Clarke with her all once more before they break apart and Clarke gets in her car.

“If Aden needs me, I’m just a call away.” Clarke softly says and Lexa nods. She puts the car in reverse and is about to pull of the driveway when Lexa calls out to her.

“I love you.” Lexa gently says and Clarke smiles wide, a light back in both of their eyes after a deep dark slumber.

“I love you too.”

Lexa watches Clarke’s car drive away and goes into her house. She goes into Aden’s room and lays down next to her boy on his big bed. She lightly pushes the blonde hair he got from his other mother out of his eyes. She watches him sleep for a little bit. His eye is still swollen and he has a few cuts but he will be okay. Their family will be okay. And for the first time in awhile, Lexa believes that. Lexa falls asleep next her son dreaming of how it used to be and how it will soon be once again.

///

Clarke is in shock as she drives home. Her and Lexa just kissed...many _many_ times. If their teenage son wasn’t home, they might have done much more too. Clarke can’t believe how much time they lost being foolish. Now they finally have their second chance and she doesn’t intend to waste it. She’s going to do this right though. And that means ending things with Niylah. The younger girl is sweet to her when she wants to be. She’s ambitious and passionate and fiery. Her body is to die for. But she’s not her Lexa.

Clarke dials Niylah on her car’s bluetooth speaker. It rings for a bit before Niylah answers.

“Hey hon. I’m thinking since Aden is staying with your ex tonight, we can spend the night doing very bad things. I bought a sexy new lace bustier I’m going to slip into.” Niylah says seductively and Clarke winces. 

“Actually Ny, I think we need to-Shit!” Clarke is cut off by tires screeching, cars honking, and a loud crash. It’s followed by the most heart stopping of silences before her phone cuts off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the small chapter and cliffhanger, don't hate me. I'll try to update soon. I've been focused on my new fic 'Small Town, Big Love,' but I promise I haven't forgotten about this fic or any others!
> 
> So what do you think is gonna happen next? How will Lexa react? Adria? I'd love to hear your guesses/opinions. Enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole gang awaits news on Clarke's condition. Lexa struggles to keep it together in this time of great distress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any mistakes!

Lexa wakes up to her phone ringing. She groggily gets up and looks over at Aden who is fast asleep, undisturbed by the annoying ringing. She must have dozed off while thinking about their family reuniting. She can’t believe it. She’s finally got her Clarke back.

Lexa looks at her phone on the nightstand and sees two missed phone calls, both from Raven. Lexa frowns in confusion, still half asleep. Raven is her friend of course, but she’s Clarke’s best friend. After the divorce, they haven’t seen each other as much as they used to. It’s not that Raven picked sides but she’s known Clarke since kindergarten. She obviously is closer to Clarke. So why is she calling Lexa? Lexa feels a knot in her stomach forming and she doesn’t like it one bit. Lexa quickly hits the call back and await Raven’s voice on the other end.

“Lexa, thank god you answered.” Raven breathes out, her voice thick as if she’s been crying.

“Raven, what’s wrong? Are you oka-” Lexa slowly says and Raven cuts her off.

“It’s Clarke. Clarke was in a car accident.” As soon as the words leave Raven’s mouth and reach Lexa’s ears, the green eyed woman’s heart stops. This can’t be happening. She just saw Clarke. She just had Clarke in her arms..for the first time in much too long. They whispered sweet nothings and love confessions. They wipe away each other’s pain and tears with kisses. They held onto each other like there would be no tomorrow..except now, there really might be no tomorrow.

Lexa lets out a gasp and a quiet yet so powerful ‘no.’ Raven starts talking again, knowing that Lexa is about to shut down and she needs to explain as much as possible before that happens.

“A - um a semi truck ran a red and hit her car. She just was rushed into surgery. The doctors said a lot of stuff...um - they..they said that she - s-she was..”

“Raven.” Lexa shakily says, her heart feels like it’s stopped beating. Raven is rambling and she sounds hysterical. She can’t understand what she’s saying. “Take a breath then explain it to me.”

Raven sucks in a deep inhale and exhale. “The doctors said she has a few broken ribs and blunt cardiac trauma. She has something called a myocardial rupture. I don’t know what it means but I just wanted to let you know. Can you please tell Aden and Adria too?”

“What hospital Raven?” Lexa croaks out, still barely breathing.

“Arker Memorial.” 

“I’ll be there soon.” Lexa frantically says and hangs up the phone. She shoots up and gently wakes her son. His eyes flutter open and he groans, wishing he could fall back into a deep slumber.

“Mom?” Aden asks groggily but still worried. He sees his Mom is crying so he sits up. His head is killing him but his mom is all that matters in this moment. “What’s wrong?”

“Honey..your mother has been in a car accident.” Lexa gently says, softly pushing back her son’s messy hair from his eyes once more. “She’s in surgery right now. We need to go.”

“What?” Aden’s voice is small and his eyes immediately water. “Mom was in a accident? No. She was here when I fell asleep. She was here.” Aden’s brain is slowly catching up to the news and when it does, he launches himself in his Mom’s arms. “She’s gonna be okay...right Mom? She’s gonna be okay?” Aden’s eyes are just like Clarke’s and right now they are filled to the brim with tears. Lexa’s heart breaks more than it already was.

“Your Mom is a fighter. We are going to get through this and so is she.” Lexa stays strong for her son and keep the rest of her tears at bay. She is terrified though, terrified that she’s going to lose the best thing that ever happened to her just after she got her back.

///

They hop in the car and Lexa drives them to the hospital. In the car, she puts her phone on speaker on calls Adria.

“Hi Mom. Can I call you back? I’m cramming for a huge exam and I ca-”

“Adria, you gotta listen to me baby.” Lexa softly says as she focuses on the road. Aden is staring at his mom. How can she be so strong when the love of her life is in the hospital?

“What’s wrong?..Mom, you’re scaring me.” Adria’s chipper voice is quieter now, as if she anticipates bad news is coming.

“Ok so your mom has been in an accident. She’s in surgery right now at Arker Memorial. Your brother and I are on our way there now. Can you meet us there or do you need me to pick you up?” Lexa’s voice is broken.

The phone is so silent that Lexa thinks for a second she lost her connection with Adria.

“Honey?” Lexa tries again.

“I...mom, she thinks I hate her.” Adria speaks with a cracked voice.

“No she doesn’t Adria. Your mother knows you love her. Don’t do this to yourself. Look, I don’t want you driving like this. I can come get you if you need me to.”

“That’s an hour drive. No, you need to go to her. She needs you. I’ll get Lincoln to drive me.” Adria curses herself for holding onto the anger for so long. Her mom might not make it and she hasn’t talked to her for real in a year. Her mom. Adria feels the tears silently falling.

“Okay my sweet baby girl. I have to go, we just parked the car. I’ll keep you updated. I love you.”

“I love you too Mom.” Adria hangs up the phone and runs out the door, almost forgetting her shoes. She runs across the campus to the frat house where Lincoln lives and opens the door. She rushes past a confused Paul and up the stairs to Lincoln’s room. She barges in and the boy is lying in his bed reading a book. He looks at her confused then hopeful then a little broken.

“I need you.” Adria breaks down and Lincoln is there to catch her, no questions asked. Lincoln is always there for Adria.

///

“Raven!” Lexa calls out and she speed walks over to Raven and Niylah. Raven is a wreck. Her mascara is smeared. Her husband Finn is holding their sleeping two year olds in his arms. Raven and Finn have a long on off history. They decided they wanted kids later in their life and got a surrogate to carry their twins, Diego and Jack. Niylah is sitting next to Finn. She looks distraught, her leg keeps bouncing up and down and she’s biting down on her nails.

“Lexa! Thank god you’re here.” Raven tightly hugs Lexa and Lexa can’t help but look over at Niylah who is glaring at her. Raven hugs Aden as Lexa greets Finn as warmly as she can under the circumstances.

“How is she? Is there any more news?” Lexa sounds desperate but she doesn’t care. This is Clarke.

“Not yet. They said she will be surgery for a few more hours. That’s all we know.”

“What about the other driver? What the hell happened?” Lexa’s nostrils flared and she all but growled when she thought about the driver who almost took her Clarke away from her and their kids.

“The cops arrested him a block down. The fucker tried to flee the scene on foot. His name is Cage Wallace. He was smuggling drugs from Mexico. He was high of some new drug called the Red. He was so high he didn’t see the light. Clarke’s beat up ole truck didn’t have a chance against his semi. The doctors said she’s lucky that she made it out of their alive. Cops showed me pictures of the scene..Lex, it’s so horrible.”

“Motherfucker, I’ll kill him.” Lexa growls out. “I want that scum in prison for the rest of his life. I’m calling Anya as soon as Clarke is stable.” Anya is Lexa’s only friend from childhood. She also happens to be the Olivia Pope of the West Coast. She is the biggest and baddest lawyer around these parts. She’s the assistant attorney general too. Lexa wants to make sure Cage never has the chance to hurt anyone ever again.

“I’m not sure that’s really your place Lexa.” Niylah spits out like venom. “My father’s team of lawyers will do just fine. We don’t need any exes getting involved in our personal affairs.” Lexa grits her teeth and Raven’s eyes widen. Is this girl really trying to exert power over her?

“Are you serious right now?” Lexa is absolutely livid. “You know what Niylah, it _is_ my place. Furthermore, Anya has been Clarke’s lawyer since before we were married. Just because you warm her bed doesn’t mean that you have any legal right to-”

“That’s enough!” Lexa’s blood runs cold as soon as she hears that voice. It’s her Mom. It’s Abby. She turns around to see her ex mother in law, hugging Aden. Her hair is in a messy bun and she’s in disheveled clothes like she just threw on the first pair of clothes she could find.

“Shame on both of you for talking like this in front of Aden.” Abby says in her stern motherly tone. Lexa hates to disappoint Abby. That woman was like a mother to her. “Lexa, I expect better from you.” Lexa hangs her head in shame. “As for you, Miss Niylah.. I don’t know you very well. But after that outburst towards my daughter here..” Abby points to Lexa and the writer’s heart warms. Abby still thinks of her as a daughter. “I don’t want to get to know you anyways.” Before Niylah can even speak, Abby waves her off and looks to Lexa.

“Sweetie, tell me everything.” Abby looks at her with worried eyes and Lexa tells her about Cage and the medical jargon they don’t understand. Everything. Abby was chief of trauma surgery here before she retired last year.

“And who’s her doctor?” Abby asks, while holding both Aden and Lexa’s hands. Niylah just rolls her eyes at the family scene.

“Dr. Yang.” Lexa croaks out, her body leaning into her Mom.

“Good. Yang is the best heart doctor out there.” Abby says confidently. 

“I’m going to go get a coffee. Would you anyone like anything?” Niylah asks and everyone politely declines. Except Lexa of course...she doesn’t answer and Niylah doesn’t wait for her answer anyways.

Right now, they all just need rest and support from one another. Which is why Abby is happy that woman Clarke has been seeing has scurried off. Nobody can compare to her darling Lexa in her book, but Niylah seems to be a particularly bad choice. What was Clarke thinking? She'll have to ask her when she wakes up...not if but when. Abby knows her daughter will get through this because her other daughter and their kids need her to.

Abby looks over at Aden who is dozing off. His eye is a tad swollen and although curious about the story behind the bruise, Abby knows it's not the right time.

“Oh sweetie, look at you. You look like you got in the ring with Rocky himself. How about I pull some strings and get you an empty on call room. Finn, you can come too and let the twins sleep in a real bed instead of your lap.” Abby gets up and politely tells the nurse who she is. The nurse’s eyes widen and she immediately scurries off to get an on call room for them. Aden wants to protest but between his meds for his eye and the sheer emotional intensity of the day, he really needs sleep. 

Raven helps Finn carry their babies to the room and Aden sleepily follows. Now it’s just Abby and Lexa. It’s silent at first. Nobody is around, not even a nurse. And then Lexa starts sniffling. Abby looks over and can tell Lexa is about to break, her strong facade for Aden finally shattering now that her son isn’t here. Abby hugs Lexa. The writer gives in to the embrace and starts crying into her shirt.

“She has to be okay Mom. She’s my everything. Please.” Lexa isn’t sure who she’s saying please to. Maybe the surgeon. Maybe some God. But please _please_ don’t take her Clarke away.

“Not a chance in hell that my baby girl’s fight ends here. She is strong Lexa. Just like you.” Abby mumbles into Lexa’s hair as she soothes the girl. Once Lexa’s tears dry and she puts a little space between her and Abby, the overwhelming silence starts again.

“We kissed.” Lexa says bittersweetly, breaking the silence. Abby just looks at her like it wasn’t a surprise. “Why aren’t you surprised?”

“I knew you two would find your way to eachother again. Your love story isn’t over yet, not even close.” Abby states confidently.

“We...she was going to end things with Niylah and we were going to try again. But now we might not ever get the chance." Lexa shook her head and released a bitter sad laugh, like she just remembered something. "You know the last thing we told each other was 'I love you.' I always used to say I wanted just one more 'I love you' from her, just one more chance to feel what it's like to be loved by the majestic Clarke Griffin. And I got my one more chance...but now I'm greedy. I need more. God, I need forever with her. ” Lexa feels the tears coming to the surface again.

“Don’t you dare lose hope. My daughter is in their fighting for her life right now. She needs you Lexa. She needs you to believe she will get through this. She needs you to be strong for her when she can’t be. Do you understand me?” Abby says sternly but lovingly as she holds tightly onto Lexa’s face.

“Yeah Mom. I will never give up on her.” Lexa mumbles quietly.

“I know you won’t my darling. I know.” Abby lets her go and Lexa leans her head on her mom’s shoulder. She closes her eyes and thinks of Clarke. Of their first kiss. Of the first time they made love. Of their wedding day. Of their first fight as a married couple. Of their first makeup sex as a married couple. Of their first night in the beachhouse. Of their first day as new parents. Of their first sleepless night hearing Adria’s incessant cries to be changed and fed. Of their first everything. She just hopes there will still be so many more firsts to come.

She’s almost dozing off when she hears the voice of a male nurse talking to her and Abby.

“We have news on Clarke’s condition.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know..I gotta stop with these cliffhangers lol. Don't worry you will know about what's going on with Clarke in the next chapter. This story is angst with a happy ending though so yay Clexa will always persevere (in my fics at least).
> 
> How do you think Adria is going to react to Clarke in the hospital? What do you think about Niylah and Lexa's little outburst? And don't we all just love Abby? Tell me what ya think. I'd love to hear from y'all. As always, enjoy the story! :)


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